Catching Up Part I
It’s been a LONG time since I have updated so I need to blog the events of the past month before they become vague.
After our Dungeon trip we took a family vacation for a week and it was really relaxing, well except for the HUGE fight we had one day and the stingray sting I received. The next week we had another huge fight on Tuesday night and Mistress took back her collar. After some negotiation and ass kissing on my part we came up with some contract amendments that seemed to assuage Her and she collared me again on Thursday.
On Friday the 2nd of July we went to our first munch in a nearby town. Big R and little r, the couple we met at the Dungeon who had the violet wand was there as well as a gentleman we’d met that same night and a lesbian couple, one of whom is a pro Domme. We are LOVING meeting and hanging out with kinky people. They are so much better than vanilla folk!!
The next night we were invited to a party with a couple we knew at their house and were told we should invite some kinky people so we called R and r to come with us. We all had a great time until late when Mistress started whooping asses and making me lick r’s pussy. At that point the man of the house got miffed, probably because he wasn’t involved, and R and r left. We left shortly after just because it was getting late. When I got home I realized that R and r had sent me a text message inviting us to party with them in a hotel room but we were already headed for bed and didn’t respond.
On the Fourth we went to a vanilla pool party with the offspring and had a pretty good time. Mistress shocked a couple of them by telling them that I am her slave.
That Wednesday we had R and r over for dinner and to negotiate some play time. Mistress had me write a Dungeon story about hot and cold play with r and that was used as the basis for the scene that was negotiated. We had a great time with them. After dinner, R started showing us more of his toys. He demonstrated the Dragon’s Tail on Mistress’ ass and broke the skin. Then he got out a cane that had notched in the shaft. As r stood over a chair and dropped her pants, he put the T handle of it into her pussy and stroked up and down the shaft over the notches with another stick, causing vibrations that made her tremble. Mistress played with r’s pussy and I held the end of the cane while R played up and down the shaft. It was quite a scene. They had told us that r would cum on command and only on command so R demonstrated this by saying “Cum bitch”. No sooner had the words left his mouth than r started to stream cum down over Mistress’ hand. Good thing we’d placed a towel under her first to catch it. Did I mention that we LOVE hanging out with kinky people?
On Friday night we had R and r over again so Mistress could play out her scene with r and a male sub that Mistress had considered playing with came as well. Mistress, R and the new sub went outside to talk about the scene which apparently now involved me as well. When they returned we all ate dinner and then Mistress had me cover the entire Den floor with shower curtains and plastic sheet. The three of us subs were made to strip naked, stand on all fours and then were blindfolded and chained together. Mistress and R worked their way back and forth between us applying a variety of sensations: hot wax, vampire gloves and Popsicles in our asses. I heard the new subbie cry out when Mistress tried to put the Popsicle in him and r made a little whimper as well but I took mine without complaint, even though it nearly froze my ass solid. We were all nearing head space, I think, when we were released. Mistress had r give a blow job to the new subbie and allowed him to cum. Then she got her favorite glass dildo and proceeded to fuck me vigorously in the ass with it. Mistress felt that the new subbie had not done a good job with the cold in his ass, despite his claiming that he wanted anal sex, so she forced him to the ground and rammed an ice cube up his hole even as he cried and whimpered about it. It began to get late so we said goodnight to our guests and went to bed. Rest would be needed for the next evening at the Dungeon.
There was a party planned for the Saturday Night social at the Dungeon this week. The theme was Independence Day so Red, White and Blue clothing was requested. Mistress helped me to make a blue corset from duct tape and white stars of the same to apply over it, then we got some gold cord and made a small lasso to hang at the waist and finally I donned this with a pair of red panties to have what I thought was a decent Wonder Woman costume. Mistress wore her black duct tape corset and off we went to the Social. We were certainly the most unusually dressed and I probably stood out the most. I was a little uncomfortable because the material didn’t breathe and was a little slimy from the sweat, not to mention the fact that I was dressed as WW around a crap load of people but we got lots of compliments on the outfits and especially the corsets.
We’d heard that there would be a number of rope riggers there that night and Mistress had mentioned to one earlier in the week that she was interested in doing something so one was already waiting to oblige. I was lead to the basement and made to lie down while this large man wrapped me in rope from chest to waist. The hook from the hoist over my head was lowered and a bar with hooks on each end attached. To this, ropes were run down to my upper chest and to my waist and tied back on themselves. My feet were lifted and tied to the rope from my waist and my hands tied to the rope from my chest, effectively making me into a big, flat “U”. Then the hoist was raised and I became a human swing. Mistress was rightly quite proud of the way her idea had come to fruition and she was giddy as she sat on my chest and began to swing. She shared me with several other women who varied between sitting and standing on me, swinging to and fro or spinning round and around. I thoroughly enjoyed the happiness this brought my Mistress but by the time I was let down and untied I was quite fatigued and ready for release.
When we returned to the kitchen, we encountered the woman whose house we had partied at with R and r and she was apparently recovering from having multiple orgasms while partying upstairs. Mistress and I didn’t know that sex was allowed but evidently it was.
We tried later to use a spanking bench in one of the rooms on the main floor but the traffic through the room was very distracting and Mistress gave up after a short while and neither of us got to really enjoy it. We stayed around for a short while longer that evening before finally deciding to leave for the night.
The next week was relatively quiet as we anticipated an afternoon cookout at R and r’s house followed by another night of fun at the Dungeon. R was really disappointed that only two couples came to the cookout but the six of us had a nice afternoon and enjoyed telling stories of our experiences and some great food! When it got close to time to leave, Mistress started to prepare me for the “game” I would be playing at the Social. She made me stand and pull down my pants, then used a red Sharpie marker to paint a bull’s eye target on each of my ass cheeks. Then she made signs that said “Whack-A-Slave 5¢” and taped one to my chest and back. From her toy bag she pulled a small silver tray, a ceramic mug, a small leather paddle and a crop. The object of this game was to be that any Dominant or unaccompanied submissive who wanted could pay 5¢ for a whack at my ass with one of the tools on my tray. If they could make me drop the tray or spill its contents they got to keep all of the money I had. Submissives with a participating escort got a free shot if they desired. The other couple had to leave urgently and was unable to go to the Dungeon with us so they took a turn each at whacking me and then signed their names to the red marks they’d made with a black Sharpie marker.
After that I got dressed again and we were off to the dungeon. Mistress made me strip as soon as we got there and put on my leather belt with deer suede cock and ball pouch and other than that and the signs taped to me I was naked. She led me to the social area at the kitchen and told me to ask everyone if they would like to play. Not only were most of the other guests happy to oblige and put a nickel in my cup for a whack, some had brought many nickels with which to play. For each one I was made to bend at the waist, holding my tray out in front of me and I had to thank the whacker after each hit. I took quite a few whacks before Mistress called for a break. I was happy to take a few minutes off but she soon had two more whackers on my tray and I was back to soliciting people to play. At the second break Mistress made me select the tools and decided to draw circles around my nipples and put “Pinch Me” with arrows pointing to them on my signs. The women who were playing regularly were very excited and proceeded to twist them around until I thought they would fall off but I maintained through the pain and never cried out. At the last change of tools the sweat scraper was put in the mix and everyone playing seemed to like it best. Two women used it to smack my nipples and a jerk Dom put a huge bruise on my inner thigh with it. By the time we left I was thoroughly “Whacked” and tired but had $5 in nickels to present to Mistress.
On the next Thursday evening Mistress and I had the house to ourselves so when I got home from work she made me strip and tried some rope cock bondage on me like she had seen online. At first she used some REALLY scratchy twine that was very uncomfortable (okay, it HURT) and then removed that and retied me with a little softer and thicker rope. I was completely trussed down the length of my stiffening cock and around my balls. Mistress said that I would have to wear this out to pick up Chinese food for dinner and asked if I would be embarrassed to have this in my pants. I told her that it could be worse so she made me get my new njoy butt plug and promptly popped it into my ass. Then she told me to get my collar on, get dressed and go get the food. I drove to the restaurant and when I get inside I noticed that the rope was starting to unravel and was sticking out of the bottom of my pants so I put the loose end into my shoe. The people in the restaurant looked at me a little funny, maybe because Mistress attached a “Sissy Boy” button to my collar, but no one made comment. I returned home and we had dinner but Mistress ran out of wine so I had to go back out with my collar and butt plug to the grocery store and walk through the whole store that way. Fortunately the rope bondage had been removed and there were very few people in the store that late but I was quite humiliated to be wearing my collar and showing everyone that I was considered a Sissy Boy. Back home again and Mistress decided to have more fun with me. She took a pair of chopsticks and used rubber bands at each end to clamp my cock between at the base. Then she used a second pair to do the same a little further down my shaft at 90 degrees to the first. She was quite amused by this look and took pictures for alter. I think she would have covered my in chopsticks if she’d had more rubber bands. I sat at on the floor next to her chair and rubbed her feet for a while as she watched TV. Then she took off the chopsticks and made me lie on the floor on my back at her feet. Mistress has very talented toes that she can use delicately to pick up small objects and roughly to pinch nipples with great force and now she chose to use them to give me a foot job. She put one foot under my cock and rubbed along the underside of my shaft with the other. It didn’t take her long to have me writhing with pleasure and soon I was begging her to let me cum. With her permission I announced that I was cumming and shot my load all over her toes. I then quickly got to my knees and licked all of my own cum greedily from her feet and toes and then kissed all over her Goddess feet which had brought me such pleasure. I went to bed that night very satisfied to say the least.
The next evening there was an erotic art show at a local lingerie store which Mistress and I had been anticipating for some time. We had already arranged to meet two ladies from Winston Salem for dinner before going; one was a Domme and the other a sub. We had great conversation at the restaurant (Have I mentioned how much we LOVE hanging out with kinky people?) and then drove to the store. None of us knew exactly what to expect but there turned out to be a rather large crowd and they were serving wine and appetizers and the walls were covered with erotic photos and paintings. There were a few people we knew and we were introduced to some others on our way around to where the dressing rooms were located. Next to them a Pro Domme had opened her tool case and we knew that she must be running the Spanking Booth that we had heard they would have. Mistress arranged for me to get a spanking with a particularly nasty looking flogger and I was made to stand in the dressing room with my pants around my ankles, bent over a chair with the door open so everyone in the place could see. The Domme was not very accurate with the flogger and I ended up with some pretty bad wrap around sting and bruises but it was some good fun nonetheless. We met another couple with a dynamic similar to ours who were on their first outing and had never encountered others in the lifestyle before. While talking to them we learned that the husband was in a chastity device. Mistress said that she wanted to see and he offered to go to the dressing room to show her. “Show me right her” Mistress demanded. The wife heard Mistress’ command and you could see the light of recognition in her eyes as she said “Yes, you heard her. Drop your pants and show them right now!” He complied of course and we all got to see the red panties he was wearing and his CB3000 chastity device that was locked onto him. His Mistress had him turn so we could see the peek-a-boo open ass of the panties before he was allowed to pull his pants back up. Throughout the evening they had Burlesque demos and spanking/flogging demos and Mistress started to get the itch to spank someone. She got her opportunity near the end of the party with a pretty girl with a nice round ass. Mistress used a flogger to brush back and forth over her skin and warm her up and she was just getting ready to lay in some serious heat when a Pro Dom who was also part of the show stepped in to finish her off. Mistress was very peeved to say the least and we decided to leave and go to a pub for a drink with the two ladies who had accompanied us. We stayed out for another couple of hours chatting with them and sharing stories and then headed home to bed.
Visit to the Dungeon
7:30
This is probably my longest break since starting The Submissive Husband blog and is due primarily to family vacation which took all of last week. Before leaving last Sunday, Mistress took me to the local dungeon for our first visit on Saturday night. She has instructed me to blog the events of that evening so this post will focus on that.
We were both a little nervous and excited (well, at least I was!) as we got dressed to go. Mistress and I both dressed all in black, me in slacks and button shirt, and She picked a pair of pink thongs for me to wear under. Neither of us knew if we would get an opportunity to play but we were hopeful and I was embarrassed just at the thought that I would be seen by many new people wearing my girlie panties.
The ride took about 35 minutes and the dungeon turned out to be a very nice house on a large piece of land that was remotely and discreetly located. We parked and Mistress put my leather collar on me and we headed up to the front door. When we walked into the main social area I felt like I was at home. We were greeted by the owner who took us under her wing and gave a grand tour. Starting on the main floor there was the living room, kitchen and dining area which were for socializing and large deck that overlooked the back yard and a small pond. Back inside there was a hallway to two “bedrooms”. In the first we found a waxing table and a doctor’s exam table, both occupied by women who were having violet wands passed over their bodies and were obviously in delight. The owner pointed out a chair in the corner that we were told would leave anyone who was confined to it “completely exposed” but we didn’t get an opportunity to see this demonstrated. As we were leaving this first room we saw a Dom wrapping a sub in plastic wrap.
In the second room there was a spanking bench and a St. Andrew’s Cross and a couple of people who were preparing for scenes but nothing started yet. Next we went upstairs to the open loft which is still partially under construction but contained a rack, some huge ottomans, a long, low padded table and a bed. The owner said that guests who stay overnight sleep there and that they occasionally rent it out as well. A sub was face down in a small alcove and having her ass swatted with a short whip by her Dom while making delightful moaning noises.
Lastly we went to the basement. This is a gigantic open room that had rows of chairs for observers, a spider web of chain in the center of the room, another long, low table, another St. Andrew’s Cross in one corner, an overhead rack and an inclined ladder. There was a scene in progress with a naked girl on her knees in front of the web, her hands secured to it. A Dom and a Domme were taking turns whipping and stroking her body, bringing out screams of pain and squeals of pleasure.
After this tour we went back to the social area and got drinks and chatted with some of the guests. We heard some screaming from the second bedroom and went to watch from the hallway. Inside, a man with a single tailed whip was working the ass and back of a girl who was on the spanking bench wearing nothing but a black thong. The crack of the whip was very impressive and it was evident that the Dom was very skilled. He switched to what appeared to be a flogger but used it also as a whip. The sub/pain slut he was whipping was calling out numbers to let him know the effect of each stroke, most of which were 6 and 7 but with the flogger they went to 8 and she asked that he stop using it and go back to the whip. We watched for about 10 minutes and then decided to move on. As we passed the first bedroom we noticed that the couples who had been using the violet wands were finished and one of the men was showing others how the wand worked so we went inside for a little demo. Mistress and I were both impressed and decided that we would like to try it at our first opportunity.
Back in the kitchen, we saw the girl who was wrapped in plastic wrap being positioned on her hands and knees with a tray of food on her back, making her a human buffet table. We mingled and socialized for a bit and met one of the couples who had been using the violet wands and they offered to show Mistress how to use it. We went to our car and got the bag of tools Mistress had brought and they went to get their case with the wand and before I could even get used to the idea we were upstairs in the loft and I was stripping to my panties. In the smaller room with only Mistress and the Dom with the wand I wasn’t as self conscious about it as I first feared. Mistress had me lie face down on the table and began with the large bulb on the wand all over my body. It was very cool feeling, like a slight burn and sting and was quite pleasurable. Next I was given the electrode to hold and She used what looked like a Mylar cheerleader’s pompom over my skin. This was a LOT more intense, both in the burn and the sting, but still felt really great. I was beginning to drift into my own world of sensation when Mistress changed tools and I felt what I could only imagine was a knife slicing down my back. It wasn’t totally unpleasant but it was uncomfortable at first because it was so easy to visualize that she was actually cutting me. Once I put my fears away and let go I began to enjoy this too, although not so much on the bottoms of my feet. At some point the cutting, slicing feeling seemed to double and I realized that there were two tools being used on me. The lady who is the sub of the man with the wand was “helping” Mistress so they could do both sides of my body at once. It was just about too much to handle but I was in a great head space and rolling with it. Then I must have made a noise that caused concern and the tools stopped while I was asked if I was okay. After that I was unable to bear the knife feeling tools anymore and even the pompom was a lot so we stopped and thanked our new friends for letting us play. As I dressed I noticed that there was another man who was naked and hanging by wrist restraints from the tall rack while a woman whipped him severely. He cried out loudly with each lash and sobbed between. His Domme showed him much compassion but was also very stoic as she tortured him.
Mistress made me put on the thong panties and put the rest of my clothes in her tool bag and follow her to the social area. Now my level of embarrassment escalated as I was made to get her a drink from the kitchen and mingle with the other guests wearing nothing but my collar and pink, lacy panties. No one in the crowd seemed to pay the least attention to how I was dressed so it wasn’t long before I became more at ease, although still not comfortable.
Shortly, Mistress led me back down to the basement where we took chairs and watched for a bit as several women walked, stepped and jumped up and down on a man who lay on his back by the web. His fetish was to be trampled and the amount of abuse he was taking was unbelievable! Another couple was playing at the table, the female sub lying down and her Dom working over her but we were unable to see what they were doing. Mistress had me get my wrist and ankle restraints from her bag and put them on, then go to the cross. I walked to the far corner of the room, again aware that I was dressed only in the pink thong, and waited for Her next to the cross. When she reached me she pulled out a leather belt with deerskin pouch held by small chains and told me to put it on. So I stripped naked in front of the entire room and put on the belt. She had me stand facing the cross and fastened my wrists to the tops of the giant X which I could just reach the tips of with my hands. There were no hooks left for my feet so she made me spread my legs to the position they should be in and I was fully stretched and incapacitated facing the corner. Mistress worked my back, sides, ass and legs with a variety of tools she had brought including her crop, her flogger and paddle and taunted me by pressing her body against mine and whispering in my ear about being whipped while others watched.
After my back was thoroughly red, Mistress unhooked my wrists and turned me so my back was to the cross and refastened me to it. Now I was facing the room and as incapacitated as before. She used the flogger to whip my nipples and chest and down my legs. She taunted me more with her words, telling me to look at the people who are watching. She pulled my half hard cock out of the pouch, exposing it to everyone as she stroked it and kissed it, making it very hard. She told me that she had wanted to make me cum in front of everyone and then make me lick up the mess but that she had since changed her mind and was not going to let me have any relief. It seemed like an almost endless torture of her words and then her flogger and then her soft caress on my cock. She asked if I wanted more and I begged her to please give me more, more of everything. She obliged by turning me around once more and giving me a few more lashes on my ass but it must have been very red because she said that I’d had enough and freed me.
My loving Mistress asked if I needed time in the aftercare room but I felt okay so we went back to our seats to recover. I dressed back in my street clothes and we sat quietly together for a few minutes watching one lady walk and jump on the man we called “Mat”. She finally came over to us asked in Mistress would come step on him too and she of course went “help”. I believe that she was a little uncomfortable walking on him but when he started worshipping her feet by sucking and nibbling on them her face lit up with a satisfied look. When she came back to sit by me, Mistress and I watched as all of the equipment in the basement was in use, one woman being caned, one spanked and two more flogged, one with clips pinching her all over her body.
At last we decided we’d had enough for an evening and said our goodbyes and left. In the days since that visit I have thought of the dungeon affectionately and often and can’t wait to return. I believe that Mistress is also anticipating going back but she has wasted no time in starting to mold me and make me into her own personal foot worshipper.
Adaptation - 06/16/2010
8:00 EST
Going into my fourth full day of slavery I was reflecting on the changes that are already taking place in me and my life. Some things are fairly obvious and were expected like having to be constantly on call and ready to serve Mistress at her every whim. If I didn’t enjoy serving her so much it would probably grow tiresome quickly but it just seems so natural to me that I find it invigorating. Some things were unexpected like learning that I have a bad habit of making little disapproving noises when I don’t like something or feel slighted in some way. An example of this was this morning when I was directed to refill Mistress’ coffee as I was leaving for work. I knew that I was tight on time and instead of just doing as she asked I made a kind of huffy exhaling sound as I checked the clock. Needless to say Mistress was NOT pleased by this and I just hope that she is understanding and forgiving. But I learned something about myself that I didn’t know before and now I can correct the behavior. If we hadn’t gone this direction with our relationship I might never have found this out. I am excited to find out what else I will learn about myself.
For her part, I think that Mistress fits into her role very naturally. She as the dominant and me as the submissive feels like the natural way of things and much of our fighting and arguing over the years must have been due to our trying to have equal roles which suppressed her power. It is really great to see her blossom as she takes back the power and becomes more of herself. I have sat in awe of her for the past several nights, worshipping her feet and feeling her strength.
The last few days have been the happiest I can remember and I love my new life as slave to and possession of Mistress. Everything that I do seems to be in subspace and the nearly constant high from it is incredible. Each morning I have made love to her and then licked her clean after while she tells me how nasty I am for wanting to lick her pussy after I fucked her. Then I give myself an enema before showering, shave myself in the shower so that I am as clean as possible for her and I then make the bed and take away the dirty laundry as I am getting ready for work. In the evening I clean up the kitchen after dinner and sit at the foot of her chair (I rarely get to sit in my own chair any longer) and massage her feet while we talk or she watches TV and I fetch wine for her when her glass is empty. When she decides it is time to retire I put up the dogs and, brush my teeth and then treat the dark circles under my eyes so that I look refreshed for her each day. It just feels right to be making myself and the house clean and presentable for her.
Three nights ago the offspring were away and Mistress had me strip naked and set up the video camera on the laptop so we could chat with Mistress Christy who we haven’t seen in some time. The video never worked correctly so we just typed a chat. I was typing at one point and Mistress left for a bt and returned with a long knitting needle and some ointment. As I kept typing she lubed the tip with the ointment and started sliding it into my urethra. I was made to describe what was happening to Mistress Christy while she worked it in, asking the whole time how it felt and if I was okay. The feeling of that hard rod pushing into me is really difficult to describe. It stung a great deal around my frenulum but otherwise was just a warm feeling. So overall it was pleasant feeling and with Mistress narrating how she was fucking my dick and what a slut I am for wanting her to fuck me like that it was so hot that I started to get hard around the needle and my cock grew longer like it was swallowing it. About then Mistress noticed a little red and realized that I must have a tear so she pulled the needle out right away. She was really concerned but I reassured her that it would be okay and after a couple of days of stinging urination and ejaculation I believe that all is back to normal. Well, except that I don’t think Mistress is willing to try it again and that is a little disappointing.
Two nights ago Mistress decided that my ass had been neglected for a long time so she had me go to the bedroom, strip naked and kneel so she could put my collar on. Then I was made to stand and bend down to grab my ankles. While I held them she wrapped all around my wrists and ankles with vet wrap until I was essentially hog tied. Then she pushed me back onto the bed with my hands and feet in the air, my ass, cock and balls fully exposed and vulnerable. She used a new thin wooden paddle to spank my bare ass until I almost cried out and then smacked the backs of my thighs and the bottoms of my feet making them hot like they had been burned. After she felt I was thoroughly red and sore she brought out her favorite glass dildo and said she was going to share it with me. I was really pleased that she would do this and even more pleased by the way she stroked it in and out of my lubed asshole and used the bent tip to massage my prostate. She brought me as close as I have ever been to orgasm without stimulation of my cock but then stopped and left me unfulfilled, saying that my cock was still broken from the knitting needle incident the night before. I wasn’t really upset because I had really enjoyed the sensations she gave me and I knew that she would allow me to make love to her in the morning.
If I had known how great my life could be by serving my Mistress and allowing her the control that she deserves I would have started worshipping her and following her a long time ago. Thankfully I have the opportunity now and I will not screw it up!
Woohoo!!! It’s Official!!
06/14/2010
7:30 EST
On Saturday Mistress and I officially signed a contract and I am now her possession to do with as she sees fit. I was so ecstatic it almost made me cry. And she bought the coolest silver locked heart pendant for me to wear as a tag that I am WAY more proud of than should be allowed:
For anyone considering the slave/owner lifestyle I would advise to take your time with the contract and make sure it suits your situation and the needs of both parties. Also, write it so that it can be modified if needed. This is the one I mostly wrote (some is copied from other sources). Feel free to use any parts that you like but your contract needs to fit you, not the other way around.
This contract defines the terms of ownership of the slave ##### #########, herein referred to as slave, by ####### ##########, herein referred to as Mistress. As a married couple, these parties share a deep love and respect for each other and this arrangement is in no way intended to detract from that relationship, but rather to enhance it and help it to flourish. Both Mistress and slave rededicate themselves to their mutual marital happiness even as their roles in the marriage change through this agreement. Henceforth, there are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey a directive of Mistress without risking punishment, except in situations where the slave uses a safe word. This contract may be rendered null and void at any time by Mistress but slave may only call for evaluation and possible cancellation after use of a safe word and following the conditions of its use.
slave’s Role
Slave herein surrenders complete control and title to his entire being to Mistress and dedicates himself to her complete pleasure and service. He is to maintain a positive attitude and strive to make positive energy available to Mistress at all times. Any and all directives given by Mistress will be followed without complaint or delay. The slave agrees that Mistress will make all decisions regarding his manner of dress and appearance, including but not limited to piercings, shaving, hair styles, hygiene and clothing and that he will wear the tag of ownership provided by Mistress at all times.
Complete honesty and openness must be demonstrated by slave at all times.
The slave will maintain the home in a clean and tidy condition as time allows. He is responsible for the general cleanliness of the kitchen, master bathroom, master bedroom and den as well as laundry and trash in addition to specific chores dictated by Mistress at any time.
The slave is expected to show his affection toward Mistress and is allowed kiss and touch her as long as no contrary directive has been given. He is also allowed to attempt to initiate sex during the night and/or upon waking unless directed otherwise.
If slave feels the need to communicate any concerns to Mistress he will do so respectfully in a formal email letter but with the understanding that Mistress may disregard it completely.
There will be two primary modes of behavior to which slave will abide depending on the situation: game mode and normal mode. The first and primary is game mode. In this mode slave must show proper respect but is allowed to speak freely so long as he does not offend or anger Mistress or challenge her authority. This mode is to be maintained at all times except during scenes, during which slave is to be completely subservient and only speak when allowed, or when situations calls for normal mode. Those situations are when others not aware of or amenable to the slave/owner relationship are present such as parents or offspring. In normal mode slave is allowed to speak normally but must not argue with or get angry with Mistress.
slave's Safe Words
The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command or punishment given by Mistress, at which time he may rightfully refuse to obey a command or accept a punishment. The veto can only be enacted by using one of two safe words, YELLOW and RED, and only when one of the conditions described below is met. The use of the word YELLOW by slave indicates that he is nearing a point that is intolerable and allows Mistress an opportunity to decide if she wishes to alter the current situation. Mistress may inquire of slave what is at issue using simple and direct questions and will expect complete honesty and simple yes or no answers. She agrees to thoroughly consider slave’s concerns but she is in no way obligated to make any alteration. Using the word RED indicates that slave has reached or exceeded the point of tolerance and play is to stop immediately. If RED is used, slave is to proceed directly and without further comment to a safe zone (generally the bathroom). No further play will occur until the issue is discussed openly and no such discussion will ensue until at least the next day. To avoid “Topping from the Bottom” the safe words are to be used only in extreme situations and if used this contract must be reevaluated by both parties to determine if alteration or cancellation is warranted. If Mistress feels that slave is using safe words in excess she may initiate extra punishment or call for cancellation of this contract. Acceptable reasons for use of safe words are:
• Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the slave;
• Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave's life, such as losing their job, causing family stress, etc.;
• Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm to the slave;
• Where said command may cause psychological trauma to the slave
Slave may also use the word HUSBAND if he would like to initiate equitable marital sex with Mistress at any time unless he is being disciplined or has been directed otherwise. If Mistress accedes, slave is to behave temporarily in a masculine manner and he is allowed to initiate sex with her as a normal Husband but still showing the respect that is required of this contract.
Mistress’ Role
Mistress accepts the responsibility of the slave's body and mind to do with as she sees fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. She wishes to ensure that slave thrives and therefore agrees to care for, to promote the positive spirit of and to arrange for the safety and well-being of the slave. Mistress also accepts the commitment to treat the slave properly, to train him, punish him and use him as she determines appropriate.
Mistress’ Control Words
At any time that Mistress feels that slave is overstepping his bounds and or threatening her authority, particularly in a situation where immediate discipline is not feasible, she may use a Control word if she deems it appropriate. The Control words are YELLOW and RED. If Mistress says YELLOW it is a gracious and loving way to indicate to slave that he is nearing the point of needing severe corrective action, that he is to evaluate his current behavior and make modifications and that severe punishment may result. If Mistress chooses to use RED she is indicating that slave has passed the point of her tolerance, that his offending behavior is to cease immediately, that no further discussion is allowed and that slave will likely be punished severely at Mistress’ next opportunity.
When Mistress desires, she may use the control word HUSBAND to indicate that slave is to behave temporarily in a masculine manner and he is to initiate sex with her as a normal Husband but still showing the respect that is required of this contract.
Chastity
The slave relinquishes all control over his sexuality and sexual identity to Mistress under the following conditions:
Mistress acknowledges that slave is a sexual creature and that his needs in this regard should not be neglected. Therefore, periods of chastity or forced abstinence should not be prolonged. The slave should have the opportunity to orgasm at least every 5 days with no more than 20 days abstinence per month.
Punishment
The slave agrees to accept any punishment Mistress decides to inflict, whether earned or not, so long as the length of time the punishment is in effect does not exceed 3 days.
Rules of Punishment
Punishment of slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect the slave from abuse or permanent bodily harm. Punishment must not incur permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse.
• Blood may not be intentionally drawn at any time. If blood is drawn the punishment must stop if first aid is required;
• Burning the body;
• Drastic loss of circulation;
• Causing internal bleeding;
• Loss of consciousness;
• Withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, or sunlight for extended periods of time.
Permanent Bodily Harm
Since the body of the slave now belongs to Mistress it is her responsibility to protect that body from permanent harm. Should the slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or in any other slavery related activity, whether by intention or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should the slave so desire. Permanent bodily harm shall be determined as:
• Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones;
• Any permanent marks on the skin, including scars or burns unless accepted by the slave (Note that tattoos and piercings are at the complete discretion of Mistress);
• Any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.
Others
The slave may not seek any other Master, Mistress or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without Mistress’ permission. Mistress may accept other slaves or lovers, but must consider the slave's emotional response to such actions and act accordingly. Under no circumstance should Mistress allow such actions to unbalance the slave emotionally, or allow such actions to result in ignoring the slave. Mistress may give the slave to other Masters or Mistresses, provided the rules of this contract are upheld. In such a situation, Mistress will inform the new Master of the provisions stated herein, and any breach by the new Master will be considered a breach by Mistress as well, subject to all rules stated in this contract.
Confidentiality
The ownership of and control over slave by Mistress is to be kept confidential and never discussed with others except among people who are known to both parties to be lifestyle friendly or otherwise where agreed to by both parties.
Offspring and Finances
Decisions relating to the offspring and/or family finances will be made jointly and without conflict or argument. Any and all expenditures over $100 must be approved by both parties. The slave is required to provide the income for the family and so long as Mistress maintains a loving D/s lifestyle she will not be required to seek outside employment. Treatment of the offspring is to be determined on a case by case basis but corporal punishment is not acceptable. Either party has the right to intervene if they feel the other is behaving toward the offspring in a deleterious manner.
Amendments and Breaches
This contract may be amended at any time that both parties agree. Mistress may call for an evaluation at any time. The slave can use a safe word in extreme cases for an automatic reevaluation or he may make a formal request via an email letter. Any amendments or alterations of this contract must be signed by both parties to be considered valid. Any breach of contract by either party is cause for immediate termination of the contract.
Signed this ______ day of _______, 20___
slave: __________________________________________________
Mistress: _____________________________________________________
Over the weekend, Mistress and I went to a Caribbean party and had a blast. She looked beautiful wearing a cool straw hat and beaded necklace with flowers in her hair. I was a little more flamboyant dressed as Carmen Miranda (or Miss Chiquita). Mistress made me a costume complete with fruit basket hat that was stunning on me, if I do say so myself. I had a long red skirt with yellow ruffle trim, a red swimsuit top and cheap shell bra, 5” heels (and bright red toenails), and lots of flowers including leis that I used for armbands and flower rings that I wore on my fingers and one of my toes. I was really nervous about going out dressed like that. I haven’t dressed since high school theater. And Mistress kept bringing up the idea of stopping at the grocery store and making me go in so I was even more antsy. Well, I drove us to the party and felt like I was being stared at the whole way. Mistress made me go ring the bell and wait at the door to be let in. Someone I didn’t know opened the door and I made a bee line in and through to the back yard. Guess what, NO ONE ELSE WAS DRESSED UP!! That’s right, I showed up in full drag to a party where the wildest thing anyone else was wearing was a Hawaiian shirt!! Luckily I did well with the heels and seemed confident enough that a lot of people were interested in talking to me and I ended up having a total blast! It was great and even after Mistress said I could take off the heels if they were hurting, I kept them on the whole night. She said that she likes me that tall (I was nearly 7’ tall) so I am allowed to wear heels at anytime. Now I need to find some shoes that fit a little better so they don’t kill my feet. Maybe some sweet black pumps? I hope she takes me shopping for some soon!
HHNT - I'm a Slut - 06/10/2010
Lacking a picture from this week because I have not been allowed to wear panties here's one from the day after Mistress wrote I'm a Slut across my belly and down my cock with a permanent marker:
So Mistress is feeling down and I can't seem to get her spirits back up. Don't know how long it will last but I hope to see her feeling like herself again soon.
The Invisible Fence – 06/09/2010
Mistress Kim sets limits that I must not push beyond but I have a very difficult time knowing what they are. It’s rather like a dog learning to stay inside one of those buried invisible fences for pets. He knows there are boundaries but he can’t see them. So he approaches where he thinks they are and hopes that the shock he receives is mild and that he is going slowly enough that he can back away before he gets too close to the wire. And I guess that Mistress feels she has had to shock me too often because I now have a reputation as a dog who pushes boundaries. She talks often of ball gagging me and even though I can understand why she feels that way it makes me wish I had a way to communicate some things to her without repercussions.
Another of my faults is that I have become too self centered. Mistress has told me this numerous times and as I try to adapt to being totally subservient to her I am seeing this more and more in myself. I used to be a great listener and could sit for indefinite periods of time listening to others talk about themselves and what interests them. I find now, being forced to listen more and talk less, that I am antsy to talk about me or about my thoughts on the topic at hand. So Mistress wins at this point for sure and I have a LOT of work to do changing the way that I listen and communicate.
Mistress had me order The Marketplace (book 1) and she started reading it a couple of nights ago. I think she is really enjoying it so far and she has even allowed me to read up the point where she has stopped. It is very fascinating to me and I hope that she allows me to read more. We don’t intend to model ourselves after any particular book or ideal but hope to gain some insight and ideas. The second book, The Slave, is on order now and should arrive next week.
Slaying a Dragon in Panties - 06/03/2010
06/03/2010
11:00 EST
Half Nekked Dragon Slayer
It has been nearly a week since I last posted and not very much has changed in my situation. Well, except that I am allowed to write in the blog again. Mistress still intends to own me completely as her slave and we have been living as though that were already the case although we have not yet settled on a contract to make it official. This past weekend was a 3 day Holiday and I had two extra days off as well and we sent the offspring to the grandparents for a few of the days. Mistress was not feeling herself because of her allergies so we did not play as much as I had envisioned, but it was a great opportunity for me to practice focusing on her needs and desires and getting used to the new reality and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. I opened her doors, filled her wine glass, massaged her feet, cooked for her (when she would allow) and cleaned constantly. We even managed to have some pretty good sex along the way, too. My energy got a little off and is still not quite back to where it was last week but Mistress has allowed me panties to wear almost continuously and that has helped me to stay even keeled (my fem side I presume) and I think that I am starting to build it back up today.
Yesterday we figured out that the air filter was causing Mistress’ discomfort and once we replaced it she (and I) felt much better. The Goddess finally came to visit last night and though the Dragon wasn’t really powerful this time, I think that by allowing me to wear panties through the whole time, Mistress gave me the weapon I needed to keep it at bay. Something about wearing panties brings out my softer, more patient side.
We have been invited to a Caribbean themed party next weekend and Mistress has decided that she will dress me ala Carmen Miranda, replete with fruit basket hat, bikini top, long ruffled skirt and high heels. We shopped at the thrift stores for days putting together the pieces and she will be sewing quite a bit to get it finished. What an awesome and thoughtful Mistress I have! I can hardly wait for the party!! I tried on the shoes the other night and nearly hit my head walking through doorways without a hat so I may be brushing the ceiling when I am fully dressed.
Mistress seems happy with my performance lately and has given me awesome hand jobs for the last two days. Today she teased me by asking me if I was thinking about having my ass fucked while she stroked me. I actually was thinking about it. I have a fantasy that a witch turns my asshole into a dripping wet pussy and I was just imagining that she had done this to me and was fucking me with a dildo. There were people lining up to take turns at fucking me after her but she made me cum before they got a chance. As I lay catching my breath she uncerimoniously scooped up the cum from my stomach and made me lick it off her fingers. After that it was off to get ready for my first day back at work this week. And here I sit trying to adapt to the normal world again.
It’s amazing how quickly I got out of the habit of writing here. Hope to have my groove back soon.
How to stifle a slave - 05/28/2010
05-28/2010
7:30 EST
After much back and forth and disagreement, during which Mistress pointed out that I am a whiny, pouty, insecure and defensive shit, she has decided to take the leash firmly and be totally in control of me as her property. I will only post to this blog at her direction and on her behalf. This is the message that Mistress Kim sent to me that has sealed my fate:
My thought on this as it stands right now is I can't go back. Forward is the only way to go, You will not be happy (thus making me miserable with the pouty, insecure, whiny, defensive shit) unless we are playing. So I am learning how to be a GOOD Dom. and have been doing research for several days. I assure you that when I am ready to play next, there will be no gray area. The rules will be very clear and infractions will be punished. Whiny, self centered, "that's not fair" will no longer be tolerated. At all! If you make a mistake you will be punished. If you bitch about being punished or anything I ask you to do you will be punished further. It is all about me, and you will learn that the hard way. Evidently there are standard procedures for slave training, and we will start there. Next time you see me without the offspring present you are to bow down and kiss my feet. You are to tell me how lucky you are to have such a wonderful and understanding mistress to give such a whiny piece of shit a second chance. You will learn to be practiced in discipline and demeanor that is generally accepted by the big "Houses" and will be expected to follow it in our house from now on. You will find and purchase the most frugal copy of The Marketplace. I want book one first, you will not be allowed to read this particular piece of literature. http://shop.ebay.com/?_from=R40&_trksid=m570&_nkw=Laura+Antoniou
You no longer will reveal any other likes or dislikes about any fetish you may have. You will secretly love it if I ask you to do it and you do not desire it all if I do not ask you to do it. You will remember that I have a cage for your cock. I may make you wear it for fun if I see fit, I may make you wear it when I have Goddess time, or I may make you wear it as punishment. It as well as your slutty dick are mine. You may not touch yourself except for cleaning and grooming.You may not ask for anything unless I ask you if you have a preference. If I do not lay out panties for you, you should assume that you are to go commando. You are never to get pouty or show displeasure because things do not happen in a time frame you desire. You will get only what I give you and no more. This weekend we will draft a contract. Once it is agreed to and signed you will be my property, and as such my pleasure is your only goal. This weekend we will purchase a ball gag and you will become familiar wearing it. So much so that if I mention the word ball gag, you are to remember how it feels in your mouth and shut the fuck up. Additionally, and starting now, you are not to text or email me wondering where I am. Your insecurities have caused me a huge fucking headache and will no longer be tolerated. The text is your leash not mine. I do not answer to you.
If you have not read these articles, you will do so now. I may not use all of these techniques, and will be very clear about the ones I care to use. As of now we are playing once again, how and what I choose to do, is up to me although I will draft a more concrete document this weekend. This is all for now, slave. It is my hope that this is truly what you wish for because now there really is no turning back.
http://www.ownership-possession.com/wiki/Submissive/
http://www.ownership-possession.com/manifesto
http://www.ownership-possession.com/wiki/Marketplace_protocol/
The Goddess, the Princess and the Dragon - 05/26/2010
05/26/2010
7:30 EST
We have come full circle back to Goddess Time and this slave is so thickheaded that he didn’t realize it, even after Mistress gave him clues and hints to let him know. This resulted in the slave battling the Dragon last night and it was NOT pretty. Mistress has been on hiatus from our game for a few days because she felt that we both needed time for reflection. And she seems to believe that her attempt to rally me to help hold the Dragon at bay last time was a failure. So as of last night her plan was to just try to fight it by herself. I stayed up a little late to ponder this and even read her original Call to Service again looking for an answer. This morning I woke with another epiphany that has developed further since and I now think I have a plan that could work. Just for reference here is the original letter:
"This letter is to inform you that you will be required to perform tonight. You will continue to perform for the next three or four nights to celebrate your Mistress' "Goddess Time".
The most feminine "Goddess Time" is about to descend upon your lovely Mistress. This can be a difficult time, and in order to better serve your Mistress during her time of entertaining The Goddess, we will be having a very special extended play session/celebration.
Here is what will be expected of you:
You have been very naughty and disobedient. You actually laid a less than gentle hand on your Mistress without permission or instruction to do so. This is not allowed.
For this you will be punished. You will be punished in a way that you have not know up to this point. It will be sheer torture and you will enjoy every minute of it.
Your Mistress is now in total control of your dick. You will not touch it, rub it, fondle it or fondle her, or even think about your greedy wanting dick without permission. The same goes for your nasty, whoring ass.
Only your Mistress may touch your dick and ass. For a day or two she may choose to touch neither, and you will accept this because you have been a very naughty boy.
Since your Mistress' inner Goddess will be emerging soon, you will treat her as such. This game will last for three or four days, and you are expected to be a full participant.
While the Goddess is with your Mistress, her needs and comfort are all you will think about. You will not think once to your greedy, greedy ass or cock. You will touch neither unless your Mistress commands it. Additionally you will not be allowed to be in the bathroom with out the door open. You Mistress may look in at anytime to make sure your hand is not on your dick and your ass may be wiped after voiding, but only then and to clean it. There will be no touching yourself in the shower either. Tomorrow your Mistress will purchase a chastity belt that she will require you to wear during this and all subsequent "Goddess Times".
It is my firm opinion that these concepts can work so long as the expectations are realistic. The failure last time was mine for letting the Dragon get me angry and I must try harder to keep this from happening. But if Mistress understands that even with my best efforts I am still human and prone to be imperfect she might not see a stumble on my part as damning to the whole idea. This morning after we woke we lay in bed for a few minutes talking and I mentioned this to her. She said that she would reread the letter and see if it made sense to try again. That’s when the first epiphany hit me: Last month there was no sissy slave so I was not tuned into my femme side. So I mentioned this to Mistress and that my femme side could bring more positive energy to help in this difficult time. While I was in the bathroom getting ready for work my wise and gracious Mistress came and brought me a mug of coffee and a pretty red pair of panties and said “Here you are Princess of Quite-A-Lot”. The mug that she’d brought has a picture by Mary Engelbreit of a girl in a chair/throne pretending to be a princess with that title underneath. Well, I instantly felt better and even felt a little princess-like. After my shower Mistress said that I was to rinse out the mug and take it to work and drink from it all day. I knew that this would be a little embarrassing but I was also sure it would make me feel extra girly today and that is exactly where I want to be.
As I started off for work I felt really warm and fuzzy inside and realized that I haven’t seen my inner sissy since Saturday and the feeling of her in me was incredibly strong and pleasant and brimming with positive energy. That’s when the next round of epiphanies hit me. The first was that I feel less argumentative and less aggressive when wearing panties so the sissy is bound to be better at dealing with frustration and confrontation. Next, if Mistress amended the Call to be to her sissy slave and instead of to her male slave she could have a more understanding and nurturing companion during this time. And lastly, I don’t think that the sissy has been truly and completely revealed yet and I have to admit that I am a little tentative to find out how powerful she is. But Mistress is the one most in control of how much or how little of the sissy is evident.
As I sit here working this out and organizing my thoughts I am happily sipping away at the coffee in my special mug and feeling like I really do have the princess in me. Maybe this Goddess Time is the right time for The Princess of Quite-A-Lot to come to the forefront to show her understanding and compassion. She is telling me…no, she has convinced me that she can do the best job of keeping the Dragon at bay and making this a more pleasant time for her Queen.
The battle for a slave’s soul – 05/24/2010
05/24/2010
7:15
Genius! Pure, raw (and what a petulant slave might term evil and cruel) GENIUS!!! My Mistress has the natural ability to see right to my soul and know what is there and somehow she knows just what is required to control me and keep me on the right path, not matter how pigheaded I become.
I have been searching for some eloquent way to tell the story of last evening but am at a loss. This slave was VERY petulant and some old wounds came open, showing how badly they need to be healed. It was a painful experience and I even pulled Mistress from the “game” to talk about it. But no matter what I said the logic went full circle back around to “Is this really what you want?” I kept trying to fault Mistress as though she wasn’t listening but it turns out that I was the one who wasn’t listening. She was not only listening to everything, she was already ahead of me and planning the next thing she was going to say. I feared that she would just stop playing and leave me as a slave with no master and she knew of this fear and played it like a musical instrument, played me like virtuoso. The more I whined like a baby who wasn’t getting their way, the sterner she became and she never allowed me to win at that game.
I had several epiphanies, among them is that when I am disobedient or impudent to Mistress it is almost invariably because of something in my subconscious that triggers an automatic response. I am totally committed to submitting myself completely to her and she knows this. I believe that she also knows about the ghosts that haunt me and how I need to vanquish each one as I encounter it. An example of this is the TV remote incident of last night. Mistress asked if I would find something to watch. Rather than jump to her command (which she cleverly phrased as a polite request) I turned it back as a request that SHE find something for her to watch. The reasoning behind this is that I have always felt that she just didn’t want to have to be bothered with finding her own shows and/or had some kind of fear of the remote. So I had a knee jerk reaction that was just like what I would have done before I offered myself to her. It turns out that I was just assuming that I knew her motivations and that I was totally incorrect in those assumptions. Mistress told me I would have to take another punishment mark for my disobedience and that’s when I became petulant and huffed off like a spoiled brat who wasn’t getting their way.
It is amazing to me the way that Mistress can see through me. Or perhaps I am just completely transparent. Either way, my behavior was atrocious and unacceptable but she seemed to see right through to the heart of it. And when I told her that I thought she was being unfair she took it in stride and turned it back on me that I wanted to have it both ways. She knows that I can’t submit completely if I am going to balk at her commands. I am verging on rambling so I will jump right to her brilliant coup. Mistress turned the whole thing back on me by telling me that she needs a few days off from the game and that I should use that time to reflect. I had been petulant already but I became even more so at her statement. How could she do this to me? How could she take away the game that I love so much and when she knows how important the path is to me? The answer was so obvious to anyone with a clear head and so clever in its simplicity: She is controlling me by making me control myself. By taking her out she is forcing me to commit even further and to take a huge step forward in my committal. If I want to go down this path with her I will have to be more evolved and able to appreciate her part and her efforts. How am I so fortunate to have a Mistress who is so intuitive and wise? I will spend that next few days trying to earn back my place as her slave. I will beg her to take me back both on my knees literally and with my actions. I will strive to show her that her efforts are not wasted on her undeserving and underdeveloped slave.
This journey down the path to total subservience and submission to my Mistress is more difficult than I imagined. I didn’t realize how many of my fears, doubts and misconceptions I would be facing but it just makes sense that this is exactly what I need to do and precisely the way that it should occur. I have to rid myself of the unwanted baggage of my previous life so that my mind can be open to whatever may come. I knew in my heart that if I could commit myself totally to her and trust her implicitly that I would reap great benefits. I did not anticipate that each step on the path would offer opportunities for such profound and meaningful growth. It seemed that the really amazing parts of the trip might occur at the end but every time I make a move in the right direction I find the chance to grow in some way. I will try my best to not waste those chances.
Mistress Kim, I believe that I understand the lessons you are teaching me and I beg you to please allow me to serve you again. I am lost and merely wandering around blind without you!
Sock Monkey – 05/23/2010
12:00 EST
Parts of my story might be growing tiresome, so I will focus on the stuff that seemed really cool or new. Mistress and I went out to dinner and a club with another couple last night. The lady in the couple is definitely hot for Mistress and I think they could work out to be great play buddies but we will need to iron out a few details first. Mainly that Mistress isn’t really interested in playing with another man so we will have to set clear parameters as to what is allowed to make everything as equal and fair as possible.
Dinner was nice for the most part and the company was good, although the topic that dominated the conversation got a little old to the males. At least it did for me. As we were leaving the restaurant for our cars Mistress said that I was to show my panties to them. I had chosen a black and grey pair that was kind of sheer and had really sexy laces up the back. I fell in love with them right away just like Mistress new I would when she bought them. I wasn’t totally opposed to showing them, at least to the lady, but it was a surprise to learn that Mistress had told them about my sissy side. Not only that, this would be the first time I had revealed my sissy side to another man. And finally add that we were in front of a little strip mall on a fairly busy street. So I balked. Mistress had commanded that I drop my pants and I let the situation and my fears cloud my judgment and I think I must have said something like “Not here.” But Mistress was deadly serious and gave me a withering look as she said “Show them the laces up your ass”. I unhooked my belt, unfastened and unzipped my pants and pulled them down at the same time that I lifted the back of my shirt to give everyone full view. I was WAY too embarrassed to recall the comments but the reaction seemed positive and I pulled my pants back up quickly so I didn’t get caught with them down the next time a car drove by. Luckily no one else saw this display…as far as I know.
We went on to the bar and saw an excellent modern rock cover band name Sock Monkey. Good times were had by all and Mistress and her lady friend gave each other lots of attention. Mistress told me several times what I whore I am for pulling my pants down and showing my panties on a busy street in front of a bunch of people and she taunted me saying that I wanted to show everyone that I am a sissy and I couldn't argue. The idea of showing my panties to other people was the perfect blend of excrutiating embarassment and titillating excitement. I quit drinking about 12:30 and switched to water so I could drive home but probably should have quit earlier to have a clearer head. Anyway, we made it home safely and went straight to bed and to sleep. We woke at around 6 and I had an incredibly hard erection. Mistress said I should get a condom so I did but I asked her to put it on me. I love the feeling of her hand sliding down my shaft as she unrolls them on me. She laid back for me to get on top and I asked if she would get on top to start but she refused. So I crawled on top of her and decided that I would fuck her REALLY hard to make her wish she’d taken the top for a bit. I pounded and pounded myself into her and she said it was too hard, too deep. I told her that if she wanted control she should have been on top but since I was driving I was going to make it as deep and fast and hard as I liked. Mistress was NOT playing and said “You’re going to cum before I do”. And she was correct. It didn’t take long at that pace for me to shoot my load into her and collapse at her side.
Mistress became a little venomous and told me that she had still not had an orgasm and I was to make her cum. I asked if I could clean her pussy with my tongue and she concurred that I should get started right away. I slid down in the bed to face her beautiful pussy and began moving my tongue in long slow light passes to get all of the sticky sweet nectar off of her pussy and to stimulate her clit. Mistress said that I am a great pussy licker and in spite of telling me that she was going to make me stay down there and lick her all morning she came after only 10 minutes or so.
I went off to make coffee and get a Sharpy Marker for Mistress and when I returned I snuggled up behind her. She reached back to position my cock in the upper part of her ass crack and her hand made me start to get hard again. It’s been a while since I was able to get hard a second time so quickly so I was a little surprised but Mistress used her talented fingers to get me hard easily. Her focus moved from my frenulum to the tip where I could feel her massaging my hole and pushing her finger tip into me a little. I asked if she could push farther but she said that was as much of her finger as she could get in and that she would get a proper tool later. We were both incredibly horny so we fucked again (at Mistress’ pace this time) and again I came but she did not. This time Mistress told me to clean her up and get all the sticky juice off of her. I complied immediately and as I was licking her clean and working her clit she said “You would rather be sucking a cock wouldn’t you? You would take anything in your mouth and lick it and suck it wouldn’t you.” And then “All you are thinking about is me fucking the inside of your dick aren’t you? You better start focusing on licking me and quit thinking about your whore dick.” And finally she said that I better get used to licking long and hard because she is going to take me to a party and make me lick every pussy there. At last Mistress had another orgasm and I licked all around her pussy to clean her up.
I lay beside Mistress as her breathing returned to normal and gave her the Marker. She stretched my cock and made four marks on my shaft. One for balking last night, one for grudge fucking her this morning, one for thinking of my own dick’s pleasure instead of her pussy’s needs and I can’t recall what the fourth was for but was not going to argue. There will be some serious spanking to endure for these marks and I will being trying very hard to goet no more today! As she pulled and marked and pulled I began to feel horny yet again. Mistress felt it too and started working my tip again, rubbing in circles to open my hole wider and pushing her finger tip into me as far as she could. I begged her to fuck me deeper but she would only push as deep as she could with her finger and use her other hand to rub the underside of my head at the same time. She said she could feel her finger inside me from the outside. It really felt like she was fucking me and I told Mistress that it was like I had a pussy and she was fucking it. She told me that my cock is a real whore and just wants to fuck and be fucked. She also told me that she was going to fuck me in every hole in my body. I started to get cold chills from the way she was fucking my ears with her words at the same time that she was fucking the inside of me cock with her finger. She described how she was going to get a knitting needle, lube it up really well and slide it in, pushing deeper and deeper and then moving it in and out to fuck me. “Oh, but your slutty whore ass is going to get jealous isn’t it?” she said. I told her that she could put a plug in my ass to keep it quiet and she liked that idea a lot. “Yeah, a ball gag for your smart mouth and a ball gag for your slutty ass. You will just let anything fuck you in any hole won’t you? You are a nasty whore and just want to be fucked all the time. You’re begging me to fuck the inside of your cock like a little whore.” I moaned “Yes, Mistress. I want you to fuck my cock like it’s a pussy. I want you to tie my hands and bind my feet above my head and rape me, fuck my pussy cock and ball gag me so I can’t resist. Take me the way you want and rape my pussy. Fuck me deep and long like your whore.” Mistress wanted me to cum on my stomach so she could make me lick it up but I was taking too long so she just quit and left me shaking like a leaf, unfulfilled and twitching. Then she told me that I would have to stay horny like that all day and I would have to go commando all day so my pants would rub my cock and make me half hard, too. Then she made me strip the linens from the bed and told me that I would have to wash them and remake the bed. I asked what other things I could do for her to show my love but I am still waiting to hear.
It was a great morning for epiphanies I think. Mistress and I talked as we made breakfast and she commented on how much she knows about me now. I told her that there may be more that I haven’t yet discovered about myself and that I feel if I can follow this road that I am on to the point of total submission I believe that there will be some kind of awakening. I don’t know what that will mean for me but something in my soul tells me that I must do this, I must take myself to the point that I am no longer me and then I can be rebuilt better than I was before. Mistress had a thought to add as well. Her epiphany was that I might have to be forced to do something that I will want to refuse to do with my entire being in order to finally reach that point. This makes a lot of sense and fits with my own feelings, but I added that I think that the point of the journey where I reach the rebirth will not only be about doing something that I would want to refuse, I must do it willingly and without thought of myself. So when I can be totally submissive and I have no trace of resistance of any kind remaining in me I may reach some new level of being or perhaps even some form of Nirvana. This is my goal and my hope. And I am so thankful to have my kind, loving and creative Mistress by my side on this path.
Friday Fun - 05/22/2010
12:00 EST
Friday nights are usually when my Mistress allows me to ask for something that I would like for her to do with me or to me. But last night she had an offer from a new friend to come over for drinks, just the girls. And this lady is one that Mistress found attractive and has wanted to play with for some time. This was fine with me because I want her to nurture some new friendships and I told Mistress that I would use my alone time to play in her lingerie. She approved this and told me where she kept everything before she left, bottle of wine and frozen pizza in hand. She told me to be ready to go out at 10 because she didn’t intend to stay all night. So I watched a movie and ate pizza with the offspring then put them to bed. Now it was MY time.
In our bedroom with the door locked I stripped and pulled the panty and bra drawers out of the dresser for easier access. Mistress has a corset that she intended to change the laces on so I thought I might start there but when I got it out and looked it over it seemed like this would take too much of my limited time. It was already 8:30. So I started trying on matched panty bra sets and put on a pair of white garter-less stockings. I just LOVE the look of the hose! When I had been through three sets the phone rang, a little earlier than I expected, but I was happy to see that is was Mistress and I answered eagerly. She wanted me to come to her friend’s house and bring some of my positive energy. I had to dress before I went and went through another 4 pairs of panties before I decided on a nice blue thong. Armed with beer, wine and incense I headed out. It turned out that there were three ladies and Mistress there and I had a great time socializing with them. Mistress had evidently told about my panty fetish and after she paraded me a little to show off my subservience she had me drop my shorts to see which panties I had chosen and of course I as made to turn and show them to two of the ladies. I must have turned bright red with embarrassment but I think I chose well, not to frilly and not too plain.
After a bit more drinking we were all feeling pretty good and Mistress asked the lady that we had just met if I could kiss her and she said yes so I ended up making out with her while Mistress kissed the object of her desire. It became evident that nothing further would happen since the man of the house wasn’t around and it just happens that he is the Dom for both of our potential playmates so we headed home. It was about then that we realized that it was 3:00 in the morning. We went straight to bed and to sleep and woke at 7:00, both of us hung over but well enough to be horny. We fucked for a bit but only I had an orgasm so Mistress wanted me to play with her more. I asked if I could lick her clean and she said that was a great idea. My tongue worked all over her pussy, licking up the wetness from our session. I told mistress that I love to lick her after she had been fucked and that it made me hot to imagine that she had been fucked by someone else and she was making me clean up after them. I’m not into the cuckolding fetish but I like the thought of Mistress using me for nasty things like licking up after her sex. She seemed to like the way I was talking and responded to my tongue with moans and asked for me to use my thumbs, too. It took Mistress a little while but she finally came, her back arching from the bed. We went for breakfast but both still felt like shit so we decided to come back home and get more sleep. I hope that we get a chance to have our regular Friday on another day but if we don’t I still had a great evening and a very unusual time.
The Jolly Rancher Slutsicle - 05/21/2010
7:30
Yesterday was the beginning of Mistress Kim’s Dungeon where we plan to put some original erotic stories. I started the first one and Mistress was very displeased because I wrote it in first person and focused too much on my own greedy whoring ass instead of on Mistress Christy who is the intended focus. So Mistress told me I had to go to the bathroom and give myself two marks on my cock. Later I had to go back and make myself hard so I could take pictures to send to her. I don’t know if she will want them posted here or not. So I restarted the story in third person with only a generic tall slave to represent myself and this time Mistress seemed very pleased. Chapter one is posted here:
http://mcdungeon.thumblogger.com/
At the end of the work day I headed home and gave Mistress Kim lots of loving kisses while i pressed my horny, panty encased cock against her. After dinner I cleaned up the dishes and we put the offspring to bed. Talking later I reverted to my old habits of being argumentative (it used to be such fun to play Devil’s Advocate) and earned myself two more marks. I know that Mistress doubts my resolve but I really am committed to being her submissive. I am finding that totally putting my former self away and giving up all control is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I feel that if I can do this it will be analogous to a forest burning and then growing back fresh and healthy. If I can give myself over to her, I will discover more new things about myself, rid myself of old fears and assumptions and Mistress will remake me into a new person who is much closer to who I really want to be.
“Go to the bedroom” she said. I asked if I should light candles and was told that Mistress needs light but that did NOT mean that I would be getting laid. So I rushed in and got ready for bed, lighting candles and brushing teeth. Mistress entered the room, took off most of her clothes and told me to strip which I did promptly of course. I was made to get on all fours on the bed and she got the short leather whip out and began lashing across my ass which was still quite sore from the paddling of Wednesday night. Mistress said that she didn’t know what 4 marks equaled in lashes so I guess she just kept going until she was satisfied. Then she made me turn over onto my back and she whipped my nipples and inner thighs. I was quite thoroughly stinging all over now and Mistress made me get up so she could lie down.
“Take off my panties and put them on yourself” I was told. So I complied while Mistress removed her own bra. These were the same lacy black panties I'd worn on Monday night and they felt even better with the warmth and scent of Mistress on them. Then she lay sprawled on the bed motioning to her crotch. I crawled quickly to her and began licking her sweet, beautiful pussy in long, slow strokes with my tongue. She allowed me to taste her nectar for a few minutes and announced that she had bought popsicles and that I was to go get one from the freezer. When I returned with one she had put waterproof pads down on my side of the bed and told me to take of my panties and lie down. Next I was made to hold my legs up over my head while she unwrapped the popsicle and slid it in and out of her mouth before presenting it to me to do the same. It was a colorful Jolly Rancher slow melt pop and as she slid it into my mouth Mistress began taunting me “You’re a good little cock sucker aren’t you pussy boy? You’ll suck any cock and put anything in your mouth won’t you?” The icy treat wasn’t tremendously large but I had to concentrate to take the full length in my mouth, which I did over and over, sliding my mouth up and down the shaft to show Mistress that I really am a great cock sucker. Then she pulled it from my mouth and pushed it directly into my asshole, all the way in one push. “Oh my little pussy boy whore’s ass just sucked it right in. There wasn’t even any resistance. You like fucking the popsicle don’t you my whore? You’ll take anything or anybody up your whore ass won’t you?” she teased. Then she popped it out and held it to my mouth. “Suck it slave. Lick the nastiness from your ass off the popsicle.” So I opened my mouth and took it in again, sucking and licking the popsicle. Mistress put it back in my ass and fucked me with it more and made me lick it again, and again and again. The last time she brought it to my mouth is was half its original length and she said that my slutty ass had kept the rest. And I could feel the cold chunk inside me to prove she was right. So she plopped the remainder in my mouth to eat and ran her finger up my crack through the sticky, melted pop and made me lick her finger clean. “Your ass is a nasty whore and must be cleansed. Go to the bath and get in the tub on your hands and knees.” She commanded. So I rushed in to wait while she prepared a 2 quart enema for me.
Mistress has said in the past that she didn’t see enemas as anything more than a cleaning before play and not as play but she must have changed her mind a little because she flushed me out with more force than I have ever experienced before and then went off to look for a butt plug to hold it in. She returned with a Feeldoe dildo as the only thing she could find that would work and without any preamble she shoved the 1-1/4 diameter plug end in my ass. When I stood it had the effect of having two dicks. Mistress said that she was going to bed and I could finish after she was gone. My ass nearly exploded when I pulled out the plug and I sat for a while to be sure I was emptied. I cleaned up and went on to bed to find Mistress lying naked with her legs open for me again. When my tongue found her this time she was soaking wet and I started licking from her asshole up to her clit in long, slow stripes with my tongue and lingering a bit around her clit as I finished each stroke. Mistress started teasing me again, asking “Would you rather lick a pussy or suck a cock?” I answered the pussy of course and she said “Good answer. I don’t think I want to cum so you are going to lick me for a while. Now use your fingers, too.” I worked her pussy with my tongue and fingers and even put a finger in her asshole trying to get her to cum but it was not to be. She was tired of the play and went to sleep.
Sometime in the night Mistress woke me and I found that I was quite hard so we fucked until I exploded inside her and fell to a heap beside her. This morning the alarm sounded and I turned it off completely (not normally a smart move) and went back to semi sleep. I was lying on my stomach and felt Mistress rub my back very gently, waking me. I rolled over and slid my hand down her stomach to find her pussy was still very wet. I was able to make her cum with my finger (FINALLY!!) in great spasms and then we fucked again. We still had a few minutes before time to get up so I made coffee and brought it back to bed for us. Mistress said I had done well and been a good pussy boy slave and that I could pick my own panties for the day. Guess which ones I picked? The new girlie looking black pair with the pink ruffles that she bought the other day, of course! They do fit but there is nothing extra for me. ;-) Then she told me that she was all wet and sticky and that I was to clean her up. I slid quickly down the bed to lick her clean, using great care to lick every bit of her sweet juice and get her totally clean. "You like licking my pussy after I've been fucked, don't you pussy boy?" She asked. "Oh yes, Mistress" I said, "I love licking your pussy clean." So maybe I am now a pussy boy instead of a sissy. I am not sure if Mistress has actually called me sissy out loud and come to think of it I may not have said it out loud yet either. But of course i will cherish whatever names she chooses to use for me.
Turning the Screws - 05/20/2010
05/20/2010
7:30 EST
My panties were in a bunch for the whole day yesterday, and it was a good thing! The feel of the silky cloth against my cock and the thong strap up my ass crack kept me horny and ready for action all day long. That added to the utter joy that I am experiencing constantly over my newfound freedom to express my fem and sub sides has given me the flittering butterfly feeling in my stomach and chest all of the time. My Mistress sent me a text that she had found a store that was a treasure trove of panties and asked what she should budget for her shopping. Of course I said “Budget? There is no budget. Spend, spend, SPEND!!!” She sent me a few teaser messages and a couple of pics of her trying bras in the dressing room and kept me guessing what she was up to. Later I received an email with a picture of a huge pile of new panties and bras on our bed and I was so excited my heart nearly stopped. For $90 she’d bought 7 bras and I don’t even know how many pairs of panties, many were matches to the bras:
We had plans to meet a local Meet Up group at a beer pub downtown so I rushed home a little early, presumably to get ready but my motive was really that I wanted to see and feel and maybe try on some of the new silky things. But Mistress was not there when I arrived home and she had hidden the shopping bag so I was forced to wait even longer. She had taken the offspring to their grandfather’s for the evening and when she came home we downed a quick drink before heading out. While we were there I suggested that she look at an email I’d sent earlier that had a really great quote from one of sss’ older blog posts and I thought Mistress would find it relevant. This is the quote:
"Whining and back talk are no longer permitted in our relationship. She’s quick to point out that this lifestyle was my choice and if I want to continue to be her bitch I need to be obedient. Most days it’s exciting to see her becoming more confident, but last Sunday I was a tired sissy."
And it came from this story:
http://sweatshopsissy.wordpress.com/2007/07/22/wake-up-bitch/
Mistress looked smoking hot in one of the new bras that was very much visible and she pulled down her pants to show me the pretty new black thong she was wearing, too. On the way to the pub we talked about the lingerie store and Mistress told me about some of the things that she had looked at but did not buy. One was a bra that she thought I would have liked except that the cups were really sheer and she thought I would prefer them to be opaque. I told her that I was so excited that we could actually have a conversation like that.
A colleague from my work was to meet us for the outing and he showed up minutes behind us. I bought some beers and we started to talk next to the bar. It wasn’t long before I'd pissed off my Mistress. I have an old and really strong habit of being the comedian by finding what I think are humorous ways to turn words and phrases into new meanings, often to the chagrin of the originator of the phrase or word. Well, Mistress was not amused and before I knew what had happened she’d made a mark with an ink pen about an inch long on my forearm. Our guest seemed a little surprised but I think he guessed what it meant. Either way Mistress had a look that said “Don’t ask!”
The Meet Up was a beer tasting with appetizers so we had a great evening socializing and tasting some really good brews from a new area brewer and I must have had a mild buzz because I don’t even remember what I did to earn the next three marks on my arm. Nor do I really remember what earned me the fifth but I vividly remember that her pen quit writing and she nearly carved a trench in my arm trying to make a mark diagonally across the other four. Then she found a working pen to make the line and added the words “Hard Paddle” below it. Clearly something had changed in the way Mistress was acting and I believe that it had much to do with an epiphany from the quote I’d shown her earlier and how it related to my smart mouth and her desire to gag me regularly. Maybe that added to the fact that she was the center of attention in the bar with everyone seeming to fawn over her and want to be near her. Our guest had figured out our game and evidently had some experience with BDSM and even swinging in the past. So he was fascinated with Mistress and I think he would love for her to dominate him too. Guess we’ll have to see what Mistress thinks about it. But as we were leaving to go home she did give him a series of good spanks on his ass and he appeared to enjoy it thoroughly.
We picked up the offspring on the way home and put them to bed quickly. Then Mistress and I sat down to talk for a bit. I was in a playful mood so I was trying to tease a little with her but that was a seriously bad idea. Whatever had changed in Mistress was not a joking matter. She made me get a pen and put yet another mark on my arm. I sort of pouted about it when I did it and Mistress flew off on me. She said that this was my game and that if I was going to be whiny about it we should just not play anymore. She said she’d had enough of my mouth and my disobedience and that I either wanted this or I didn’t but she was NOT going to take any more shit from me!! WOW. I sat stunned for a minute and tried to absorb this. We've been playing this game for a while, more and more often, and had talked it like it is a lifestyle thing for us but we still have had lots of vanilla time where I felt we were normal and I could act the way I liked and say what I liked. Evidently Mistress is ready to take the next step. No, Mistress HAS TAKEN the next step and now I am scrambling to catch up. She called me over to her chair and told me to drop my pants. I complied and she pulled down my panties (did I mention that I LOVED my panties yesterday?), lifted my shirt and wrote something across my lower stomach with a Sharpie marker. Then she pulled the head of my cock to stretch it and wrote more down the shaft. Next she wrote on my upper thigh to the right of my cock and then on the left. When she was through I looked down to see that I had “I AM A” on my stomach and “SLUT” on my cock and that reading across my crotch it said “FUCK ME”. I know that she meant for this to humiliate me and it was effective, but it is also one of my fantasies for Mistress to do something like this and then actually whore me out, maybe even to strangers, so it was a great rush for me.
Mistress told me to pull up my pants and go to the bedroom. I rushed off and she followed closely behind. Once in the room I started to light candles but she said not to bother because I would not be getting laid. “Get undressed and kneel on the bed” she said. So I pulled off my pants and sweet panties, then my shirt and socks and knelt as she commanded. The hard paddle was no joke, she’d picked the same wooden one that had nearly brought me to tears a couple of nights ago. “I think we need a gag for your big mouth” she said, “Get your panties”. I grabbed them from the laundry and handed them to her. She wadded them into a ball and told me to open wide. When I did she forced the whole ball of dirty panties that I had been wearing around my cock and balls and up my ass all day into my mouth and said “That’s better. Now how many marks are on your arm slave?” I muttered seven through the panties and she told me get on my hands and knees and count them off. The seven blows came slowly and not in any sort of rhythm. With each one I counted the number but with my mouth stretched wide and full of panties it was totally muffled. Twice she rubbed the paddle up the crack of my ass, teasing me with the sensation, and my ass automatically moved up and back to meet the object that was rubbing it only to feel another scorching sting almost immediately. When I got to seven Mistress told me to take out the gag, lie down and go to sleep and that I was released for the night. As I lay next to her in the bed she told me that I was not to wake her until morning at which time I was to bring her to orgasm without any thought of my own needs. She seemed still in control and wanted to hear nothing I had to say after that and I finally asked if something had changed because I thought that when I was released that I was free to talk. Mistress said that she is through listening to me talk back and argue and whine and bitch. If I want to play this game I have to be willing to give up trying to control and change the way she wants things done. For her to live her role and get what she needs from our arrangement I can no longer make demands, I cannot question anything that she says or does. So she is now in complete control in ALL things, public and private, and I must work harder than I ever have before to be sure that I exceed her expectations. I don’t know where my own self lies in all of this but I think that I truly have not really discovered that person yet and that he or she is hidden inside me and will be released by my loving Mistress if I can submit totally to her. I am extremely excited yet still apprehensive about what can only be described as a new chapter in our relationship. Excited to see what I can become and apprehensive that I will disappoint my Mistress when she is working so hard to help me become who I was meant to be.
I finally wrestled my thoughts down enough to sleep and rolled to my left side away from my Mistress. Sometime during the night I felt her touch my chest and realized I was on my back stretched full with my arms above my head. It would probably have been really easy for her to restrain me like this but instead she pulled me to her to spoon behind her, pulling my cock into its favorite parking spot in her upper ass crack. I was half hard already and it only took a few seconds for me to be raging hard. Mistress said “You know what to do”. I grabbed a condom, rolled it on and went right to work sliding into her sweet pussy. We both love it when I am REALLY hard like that and I took my time stroking slowly. Then I started recalling how much Mistress had debased me and humiliated me so I started to fuck her…hard. I fucked her with a grudge and I think I may have even told her that I was doing it in retaliation but it was all really a blur and I had an incredible orgasm. But Mistress did not. So she told me that when the alarm went off I was to make sure that she had hers.
At 5:15, five minutes after I’d hit the snooze button and five minutes before the alarm was due to buzz again, the dogs in the kitchen became restless so I was forced to get up and decided to make coffee while I was there. I brought Mistress her cup and crawled back into bed and moved close to her. I stroked up and down her back lightly and the down over her ass. She seemed to like this so I moved my body lower and kissed her ass cheeks all over. Then I used my hand to hold her open a little while my tongue explored her starfish. I licked thoroughly all around and over her sweet hole and pushed my tongue in as far as I could. Then I moved back up even with Mistress, rolled her onto her back and used my finger to stroke very lightly all around her pussy lips and clit. She seemed to enjoy this greatly but after a bit she got frustrated because I wasn’t using enough pressure and it was tickling her. I never was able to get the pressure right even after she demonstrated what she wanted on my cock. So after a half hour she ended up rubbing it out for herself while I caressed her body. She was disappointed with the strength of the orgasm but at least she was able to get some release.
I mentioned to Mistress that I had a sore place that must have been chafed by the thong yesterday and that I was kind of glad she’d told me last night that I was to go commando today. She didn’t recall having said that, so as I was shaving she appeared in the bathroom with a brand new pair of thong panties. They are very pretty blue with rose accents and a blue bow on the front. There is a flowery lace panel over the silky blue front and sheer blue side panels. Mistress said “Do you think you can stand wearing these today even thought they are thongs?”
“Oh yes Mistress. They’re beautiful. Thank you!” I managed even though I was a little choked up. I hurried through my shower because I knew that Mistress would want me to model them for her before the offspring started to rise. I finished, put on some lotion and then pulled on the panties and worked with finding the right position to wear them. These are lower rise than the ones from yesterday so I think they look a lot sexier but the front panel is also smaller so I don’t have as many options for how to position my package. I can only wear my cock up with my balls pushed down a little low. This makes them plenty comfortable and actually increases the sensation on my cock, particularly on my frenulum. As I came out of the bathroom Mistress called me to her in the Den to let her see. I did my best effort at prancing proudly in to her and gave her the full view as I turned. She asked me if I feel sexy and I of course said “Yes Mistress. Very sexy!” She replied “Good. They look sexy on you.” I never would have dreamed that my loving wife could ever see me standing in front of her wearing nothing but pretty women’s thong panties and tell me that it looked sexy. What an incredible and overwhelming rush!!! How can I ever let her know how much that means to me? I believe that she understands this side of me more each day and with each new level of understanding that she obtains my level of ecstasy grows. I hope that it's coming back around to her so that she can experience at least some of the joy that I have.
So our game has changed substantially just in the last day and I think I owe a big part of it to sss and his post about obedience. Mistress definitely took it to heart. Now I just have to fulfill my part of the arrangement and quit trying to top from the bottom. Perhaps if I am really good Mistress will indulge me by letting me wear her panties every day and maybe even let me wear her bras and other lingerie sometimes, too.
Thongs Are Looking Up - 05/18/2010
8:30 EST
Mistress made me go commando yesterday which is okay because my cock rubs in my pants and keeps me stimulated pretty much all day. I wrote her several times about how excited I was to hurry home and be with her. Monday I worked some overtime so I left work early. Just as I was clocking out Mistress sent me an email that there was chaos involving the offspring but I was undeterred. In fact I am so ecstatic with my life right now that nothing could bring me down from my cloud. So I breezed through an Andy Taylor kind of speech to make things all better, then on to a new task that Mistress demanded of me. I had our shower looking really nice and we had put up a new white shower curtain that made it a really peaceful room but she had bought a new white mat and towels so the tile floor had to be scrubbed clean prior to putting them in. And there’s only one sissy slave in our household. So I changed into just a pair of denim shorts, grabbed a scrubber pad and some scour powder and went to work on my hands and knees. Mistress came by frequently to check on my progress and to rub her hand up my ass. This was very effective at keeping me in headspace while I worked. After I was through with the scrubbing I went back over the whole floor with bleach based cleaner to get it extra clean. Once I was through if Mistress had told me to I would have had no problem licking it. I went to get the new mat and towels and with them was the prettiest pair of panties I have ever seen. Mistress had bought a pair of panties that were black with rows of pink ruffles and they were so beautiful and frilly and girly they made me flutter inside. She said that they are size 8 and something to the effect of “we’ll have to see if you can squeeze your ass in them” but since I was not allowed to try them on, much less wear them she put them in her drawer. After that we ate some dinner and sent the offspring to bed.
Mistress and I talked for hours after that about our lifestyle and I tried to not talk too much about panties and frilly stuff because I’ve prattled on about it so much in the last few days that it’s probably close to becoming an irritant to her by now. So we talked mostly about swinging and bisexuality instead. Our new favorite blogger, Sweat Shop Sissy, posted about going to a Play Party and I think it may have gotten Mistress back to thinking about it again because we spoke for a while about what we would and would not be willing to do. At one time I had pushed to have a couple that we know who has been to a party to go with us as guides but we both seem to want to go it alone now so we can do it our own way. Mistress is evidently troubled by the possibility of me having sex with another man. When we played BDSM games years ago she evidently thought my desire to have her play with my ass was an indication that I am gay or bi and she feared that the more she serviced me this way the more gay I would become. Of course this is incredibly far from my reality but it was never discussed so it turns out that is the reason that I went for 13 years without attention to that particular fetish. She seems to understand now that I can desire anal pleasure and can even wear women’s clothing and not be gay but the thought of seeing me playing with a man’s cock is hard for her to stomach. I told her that I have no interest in another man although I do have fantasies that involve disembodied male parts, okay cocks, in my mouth and ass but that she is in charge so the only way that that could become reality is if she orchestrated it. Well anyway, neither of us is in a real hurry to make this happen so we have plenty of time to discuss it further. Mistress also told me that I am not to look at any shopping sites, particularly for lingerie, nor any porn except for blogs. And I am not to repeat anything she says during a scene later (she tells me a LOT of really hot things) nor try to fulfill any of her fantasies (she says that when I talk about them they lose intensity for her) or she will ball gag me. I’ve never been gagged so it’s one of those things that I HAVE to try at least once but it doesn’t sound like it’s very pleasant.
It started to get late so Mistress and I went to bed and it was SOOOO nice to feel her skin against mine. We made slow, passionate love for what seemed a long, sweet time. I felt that I could probably go all night but Mistress began making the sounds that she does when she is cumming and it brought me to orgasm like it usually does. I was disappointed to learn that she didn’t cum after all. Oh yeah, we got the coolest wedge pillow from Garden Ridge that we put under her hips to bring her pussy up higher so I can really “pound the shit out of her”. ;-)
The smell of extinguished candles and the movement of Mistress woke me in the night and I realized that I had gone to sleep right after I came and was still wearing the condom. So I went to relieve myself and flush the condom and crawled back in bed, careful not to disturb her further. The alarm woke us rudely and I went to get coffee as usual then came back and snuggled up to Mistress. I was hard already so without her permission I grabbed a condom and slid into her still wet pussy. The pace went from slow and easy to frantic and deep fairly quickly and then we both collapsed into spent ragdolls on the bed. The second alarm sounded to tell us it was time to really, really get up so I started for the bathroom but stopped to ask Mistress if I would be going commando again today. She scolded me for asking but went to look in the panty drawer for something anyway. I know that she hates when I ask for anything but it would be nice if I had a way to express when I want something really, really badly. Maybe she could grant me one wish a day or a couple per week or something? As I was shaving she popped in the door and laid a pair of pink panties on the counter. I really expected the frilly new black and pink pair but I was not disappointed with her choice. I shaved fresh in the shower and did some trimming along the crease between my leg and crotch. Mistress won’t allow me to shave anything without her permission so I will stick to trimming undesirable areas for now. The panties were calling to me so I hurried as much as possible to get finished and dry off. Mistress came to the door and asked to see so I slipped them on quickly for her inspection. I was so pleased that I was beaming. She had picked a pink pair of thong panties with little tiny rope swirl detail on the front waist band, a similar detail on the back but with a little circular cutout to make it look like there was a button there and the material for the center panel and crotch is very silky smooth while the side panels are sheer with lacy, feather type details. VERY hot!!! Mistress said that I looked really good and that she liked my ass being exposed which made me even happier. “See, I told you there were thongs in your future” she said with a smile.
So work today is mostly about me drinking lots of water so I can run to the bathroom as much as possible and pull down my pants to see my panties in the mirror. I have the best Mistress ever!!!
Pretty in Black - 05/18/2010
8:00 EST
Yesterday was perhaps the hottest, sexiest day of my life. Or should I say my NEW life. My Mistress picked a pretty and somewhat silky pair of blue panties for me to wear and the whole day was spent savoring the feeling of my cock rubbing in them and running to the bathroom for a quick peek at how they looked on me. And Mistress said I am not allowed to touch myself so the sexual tension in me was (and still is) really strong. She sent me some texts yesterday as she was out shopping:
Mistress: When panty shopping is it more important that they look or feel "Right"?
Slave: Good question. I think looks is really all that is important, just like it would be if I was picking panties for you that I would not have to wear. I would get the hottest, sexiest that I could find for you so I could be turned on seeing you wear them. The ones I am wearing today are pretty but are not really hot and sexy but I have gone to the restroom to look at them many times already anyway.
Mistress: Ok, uncomfortable it is. snicker
Slave: Ohhhhh you're just evil!! I would like comfortable too sometimes I'm sure. Especially if you make me wear them daily. The ones I am wearing today are quite comfortable.
Mistress: You are NOT to wear them daily, so I see no need for you to have any that are comfortable., that is why I am buying MY size. They are my panties, not yours.
So I knew she was shopping for panties and that made me even hotter but the thought that I would not be allowed to wear panties every day is a little bit of a bummer. Okay it’s a REAL bummer!!! Anyway, I thought of Mistress all day and of how I could not wait to get home to show her some appreciation for being the most wonderful woman I have ever known and for not running away screaming about this new twist in my twistedness. She seemed to read my mind and wanted me to give her sweet beautiful pussy a lot of attention.
I had to work a little late so when I finally arrived home it was almost time for the offspring to go to bed. Mistress looked delicious and I kissed her deeply and passionately for a long while. Once we were alone we ate late dinner and I cleared the table and started the dishes. Standing at the sink scrubbing, Mistress unzipped my pants and slid them down a little so she could play with my panties. I felt her grab the waist in the back and pull up, forcing the panties up into my crack like a thong and pulling until my balls were tight under me and began to hurt. She left them in this position and turned her attention to my front where she knelt, pulled down the front of the panties and began to suck on my cock. My erection started growing right away and she stopped as soon as I was about half hard. Mistress pulled the panties back up but the head of my cock was still above the band and she said she liked the way it looked so she pulled my pants up and cinched my belt tight around my shaft so the head would stay exposed. Then she fished the panties up so that the pretty little bow was sitting just below my head. I have to say that I really loved the way it looked. The bow made the head of my cock look very feminine and sweet. After I finished cleaning up Mistress said she wanted to watch some TV so we went to the Den and I dropped into my chair. Mistress told me to lift my shirt so she could admire her handiwork. When I did she whispered that I was to wet my finger with my tongue and rub it on the tip. I did as she instructed and felt myself getting hard again. She said to wet it again and rub more. Then she whispered to press down on the tip as I rubbed. When I did my hole opened up and I could almost slide my finger in. Mistress seemed thrilled when I told her and she bade me to come sit on the floor next to her. When I was seated there she used her own finger to explore my tip and I swooned as she asked me if I wanted her to fuck my cock. “Oh yes Mistress” I moaned. She told me that she would have to find the correct implement and that she had something in mind and that she would be fucking the inside of my dick very soon. She also said that she thinks my cock may be as greedy about being fucked as my ass and that I am truly her little whore. Whenever Mistress tells me that I am a whore or slut I get extra dizzy feeling and now I am starting to crave that she do it more and more and that she add more things like maybe how girlie and sissy I look when she has me dressed in panties.
Mistress decided that she wanted her feet rubbed so I moved to her foot rest and used lotion to pamper them both for a long while. At last I had to stop to pee and asked permission. Mistress said that it was okay so I hurried off to the bathroom. The pressure of the belt around me made it really difficult and it took several minutes to get a stream flowing and when I was finished I was careful to drain well so I didn’t drip in my panties. I hurried back to Mistress to be “readjusted” but she stopped me, telling me to get the bag from the store and find the panties that I liked. My heart skipped a beat as I took the bag over to the bed and began to undress. Then Mistress said that I was to try on each and come to her to model them. The bag was full of beautiful panties all in black except for one pair that also had white with black polka dots. Mistress liked the first pair I tried best and thought that I would agree. They were all lace in a boy short cut that covered me well but I was more interested in the girlie ones. I have to pretend to be manly all day every day and when I get to be a sissy I want to look and feel like a sissy. I want to feel feminine. So I tried on each and tried to walk a little sexier than normal and carry myself tall as I paraded into the den for inspection. There was a bra in the bag as well that Mistress had bought for herself and I put it on with one of the pairs of panties. She was surprised that it fit me so well and she joked that it looked better on me than on her. I would really like to wear bras but that will have to be up to Mistress of course. When I had tried them all Mistress said to pick my favorite and put them on. I chose a low rise pair that was all lace with a little pink bow. Mistress asked if I liked them because of the bow and I had to agree that was part of the appeal. I also liked the way they fit and the feel of the lace. I got on my knees and waited for her to come to the bedroom and when she did she told me to bend over the bed.
With my lace covered ass sticking out she brought out a very flexible paddle and gave me a few whacks before deciding that it was no good. Then she went to a leather paddle and smacked my ass and thighs thoroughly. Next came the little leather whip and Mistress delighted in the effect it had. After she whipped my ass and thighs she told me to turn around and she took a good long time whipping my nipples and chest. She would smack them and wait for me to open my eyes before she would deliver more blows. I couldn’t help closing them each time but she wanted me to see her eyes and see what she was doing. Oh GOD it was so hot!! I must have been getting red because she told me to lie on the bed. I went face first on my stomach and she said that wasn’t what she had in mind but that she would make it work. The hard wood paddle came next in a barrage of stinging fire to my ass cheeks, to the soles of my feet and to my thighs. It went on what seemed like hours but was probably only a minute or two and I thought would pass out from the pain. Mistress mercifully stopped and told me to get up and undress her. I helped her off with her shoes, pants, panties, shirt and bra and she laid on the bed with her legs slightly open waiting for me. I had been dying to taste her all day and dived right into her pussy with my tongue, searching out her clit and wanting to bring her to orgasm. Mistress had other ideas and made me stop and roll onto my back. She moved between my legs and said "Let me show you how to lick pussy". With that she pulled my panties down and used her tongue to lick a trail all the way up the underside of my cock that felt like a butterfly just barely touching my skin. It sent shivers down my spine and she pulled back for a few seconds and made another pass just like the first and my cock began to respond. She told me what she was doing and that this is how she would lick a pussy, with very light slow licks and not over stimulating the clit. Then she pulled my panties back up over my cock and licked me some more. The feeling of her tongue through the lace was like nothing I have ever felt. It was like heaven! It was like I was really having my pussy licked!! Then she rolled onto her back again and I went back to work, using what she had shown me, making very light slow licks up her pussy and around her clit. I used my fingertips and rubbed very, very gently around the hard point of her clit and she moaned with pleasure but she told me that she wasn’t going to cum for a long time so I better get used to doing this. It makes me crazy when she tells me things like that so I settled in for the long haul, alternating between using my tongue and my fingertips. At last Mistress announced that she was not going to cum and that I had made her irritated. It felt really inadequate that I could not even lick my Mistress’ sweet pussy well. And I had been so focused on pleasing her that I was not hard and Mistress told me that she was tired and going to sleep. So I curled up behind her and rubbed her back as she went to sleep. I lay awake for a long, long time contemplating the day and the changes I am going through and the wonderful feeling of the lacy panties I was wearing and how wonderful Mistress is for indulging her deviant sissy slave’s twisted desires. She told me several times last night that she was getting benefit from this play and I hope that she is because I don’t want to stop. I feel like I am becoming myself now and that I have been living life as an actor and being what I thought everyone else would approve of. Fuck what everyone thinks, I am a man, a real man who likes women. And I have a female side that is very powerful and wants to be expressed. And a submissive side that wants to be dominated and humiliated. So I am a real man who is also a sissy and wants to be dressed in frilly women’s clothes and to serve his/her Mistress to the best of his/her abilities and in every way.
I woke in the night quite horny but Mistress was obviously still very tired so I let her sleep. When the alarm sounded this morning I went to get coffee and returned to give Mistress hers but I had let us sleep a little too long and she was quite frustrated that I had no time to give her an orgasm. Hopefully tonight we can spend the time together that we both crave and have some vanilla time that is just about loving each other and sharing some steamy hot sex that will leave us both spent, sweaty and gasping for air.
And then I will go back to anticipating when Mistress might buy some frilly new things to share.
Butterflies and Warm Fuzzy Feelings - 05/17/2010
7:30 EST
As i sit at my desk this morning i am feeling warm all over, especially in my pants, and i have that feeling like butterflies fluttering around in my stomach and chest. Probably not the most masculine way for a man to describe his feelings but it is accurate. And speaking of the masculine, i have never in my life been what would be considered a macho guy and was even called a sissy when i was young because i was not athletic and was no good at sports. At the time it hurt me deeply and i am sure that i carry scars from it still. But even though i am not a traditional sports loving and golf playing man and even though i like to make crafts and to be with women and even though i like to wear women’s lingerie, i am still all heterosexual male.
This part of my story picks up last evening when Mistress read my last post. She was taken aback a little by my revelation about wearing lingerie and that her forcing me to do it was really just making it possible for me to do what i really wanted to do anyway. At least that’s what i thought was the reason. What seemed to really get her was that i had tried on HER lingerie without her knowledge and it made her wonder whether other men had ever done the same in the past. She was so not surprised about my revelation that she sent me a link to a bookmark she has had for sometime in which a man lists 100 things to describe himself. Most of the things in his list are perfectly normal while a few could be considered extremely kinky like his fetish to wear lingerie. Evidently he considers himself to be a sissy. Many of the kinky things he says about himself match what i think of myself. Does that make me a sissy, too? i generally hate labels and don’t really feel the need for one but it is nice to see that i am not the only one who has tendencies that are out of the mainstream. Here’s a link to the list for anyone interested. It’s good reading: http://sweatshopsissy.wordpress.com/99-things-about-me/
After dinner and putting the offspring to bed, Mistress and i talked for a little while and the subject was mostly focused on this revelation. She said “I’ve known for a long time.”
“Known that i like to wear lingerie?” i asked.
“”That you want to fuck a man or be fucked by a man” she countered.
But i really don’t think about that and can’t visualize it. i can and do fantasize about doing different things with disembodied male body parts but not with the man. Mistress seemed to be a little concerned that i would someday have a man’s cock in my ass and that i would not want her after. i tried to reassure her that i want no one else, only her, and i hope that i succeeded. And i pointed out that even if i did want to have sex with a man that it would really be no different than her wanting to have sex with a woman. She agreed with this assessment but said that it was easier for society to accept two women together. Maybe so. Anyway, i ended up realizing that i had been lying to myself about the lingerie thing and that forced feminization was a way for me to let go and live a fantasy that i have hidden even from myself. And i started to think that there could be a lot of other things that i really want to do (or at least try) but i have repressed because i thought no one would understand. My Mistress is the most understanding and loving human ever and is making it possible for me to admit to and explore aspects of myself that i never thought i could. In the end i declared that i wanted to amend one of my philosophies from “I will try anything once” to “I want to try everything at least once”. This excludes a few things that i find distasteful but there aren’t many. It seems that the best way to live is to pretend that you only have one week left and that anything you don’t do before you go is a missed opportunity.
All of that rambling aside, Mistress has said that she will indulge my weirdness and it seems that she is getting into the spirit. She told me that i am to stay out of her panty drawer and that she will choose what i am to wear and when and also that i am not to touch my dick. It is for her pleasure only. After that we decided to just watch TV for the rest of the evening because we were both rather tired. She said that i was to not touch her and i was not to wake her in the night for sex. i agreed and we both went to bed and fell asleep quickly.
The alarm woke us at 5:10 and i tried to snooze but Mistress had other plans. She slid up next to me and stroked my body with her hand for a minute and said “I desire coffee”. BAM! Head space first thing. i rushed to comply and returned quickly with her coffee then lay in the bed next to her. i asked if i may touch her and she told me that it was okay so i reached out and rubbed down her stomach and to her mound. My fingers pushed between her legs seeking her sweet pussy. She reached out and found my cock which she stroked a few times and made very hard. Mistress told me to get a condom and as i rolled over to fetch one from the drawer she smacked my ass with her hand. We made love slowly at first and i relished the feel of her as i slid in and out my full length, gradually moving faster and faster. Mistress was really enjoying it too and told me to give her more. i complied of course by rolling her to her side and sitting upright astride her leg (one of our favorite positions) and pumped deep and hard into her. She began to get louder and louder and i pushed harder and harder, now slamming into her. “You’re fucking me so hard” she called out. And i was. i was slapping my hips against her pussy with each thrust and making her cum. Mistress knows me well and could obviously tell that i was close too because she said “Announce your orgasm”.
“Oh Mistress” i said. “i am cumming so hard. i’m cumming now!”
We collapsed into a spoon position and Mistress bade me to rub her back. i lightly brushed my hands over her back and down her thigh while i kissed at her neck. “I wish to cum again” she said. “May i use my tongue Mistress?” i asked. “You may use whatever you like” she replied. i moved down her body and sought her clit with my tongue. “I love cleaning you with my tongue Mistress. Thank you for letting me lick you clean after i fucked you.” i used my tongue to make her clit very hard and stroked it quickly and firmly the way that i know she likes. Then i wetted my finger and slid it into her asshole. Her pleasure was clear but her clit went a little soft. i worked more intently on it and tried to bring her to orgasm but i did not succeed. Mistress made a disgusted sound and told me to stop. i moved back up to spoon and rub her back and she began talking to me very softly, whispering very hot things to me.
“I am going to clean out my underwear drawer today” she whispered. “I will pick out which ones I want to keep and which ones I think you should wear”. i was already in my sub head space but this was an instant boost that made my head start to swoon. “Yes, I think a thong is in your future. Your very near future” she continued. My legs began to twitch with excitement and i started to hope that she would make it today. It is totally unacceptable for me to make a request of Mistress but i tried with all my energy to send her a message that i wanted very badly for her to make me wear panties today. i want her to make me wear them every day. My breathing became a little ragged and Mistress said “I think while you are showering I will pick you out some panties to wear today. You will put them on when you are getting dressed. I think you need some silky panties to rub against your cock all day.” At this point my whole body was vibrating. i told her that if she kept talking that way i would get another erection. But we had no time left and Mistress said that i should have a half erection all day and use the sexual energy to think of ways to pleasure her tonight.
As i shaved, the door of the bathroom opened and Mistress laid a pretty blue pair of panties on the counter for me. They were very smooth with a small, sweet bow in the front. i showered quickly so i could get to them and savored the feeling of them sliding up my legs and over my hips. The panties are full coverage and had enough cloth for my cock and balls to rest inside comfortably and they covered my whole ass without climbing. i admired myself in the mirror before going out to get pants. Mistress met me at the dresser and said “Let me see”. i moved out to give her a better view and turned so she could see all sides. She moved closer and slid her hand down the back between my panties and my ass and declared that they aren’t silky enough. She wants them to be silkier so they will rub against my cock better all day. “I think I need to go shopping. Especially if we are going to be sharing” she told me. i was nearly giddy and had a huge head rush. i was thinking and trying to project that i hoped she would pick some really hot and sexy panties with me in mind. And perhaps i really am a sissy after all because i realized that i was also projecting that i would love to have a panty drawer of my own.
Night on the Town - 05/16/2010
17:30 EST
Mistress removed my new collar so i could take a quick shower and i dressed so we could go to dinner. i put back on the scratchy panties that Mistress had picked for me and wore all black over them. There was a chance we might meet up with some friends later but we were off to eat first. We went to a steak house and had an excellent meal with great conversation, well except that i ate far too much. During dinner we got the call that our friends were not likely to show. Afterward we went to our new favorite bar to see a band that was new to us. It was a little early and the band was just starting to set up so we went to the bar to order drinks. The restroom at the restaurant had been nasty so i had been holding my pee and now hurried to relieve myself. i unzipped and found that the panties had become a rope beside my cock and up the crack of my ass. Not very comfortable but still exciting to be wearing them and to have a secret that only Mistress and i knew.
When i returned to the bar i sat next to Mistress and we sipped our drinks and watched the sound check for the band. A very pretty girl came on stage and started her check and we were really impressed by her voice and her looks. Once they were satisfied with the sound she came by us with a warm smile and sat at the table nearest to us. Mistress started a conversation with her about her tattoo and we introduced ourselves and chatted for several minutes. After she went back to her table Mistress and i agreed that we both found her very attractive which is a rarity since we are both pretty selective these days.
My Mistress had brought my collar along even though there was no plan for me to wear it. She asked if i wanted it and i told her that i would certainly wear it if it pleased her. She said that it might please her later so i left it at that. Then the lady who works the door showed up and came over to speak with us. When she was about ready to leave us Mistress asked if she would do something for her. She handed my collar to her and asked if she would put it on me. My heart fluttered and i was sure that she would say no but she agreed and even had a little sly smile on her face as she commented on the tag and put it on my neck,
The crowd was slow arriving and the bar nearly empty but i felt very conspicuous sitting there with my silver studded black collar. No one seemed to notice but i was very self conscious of it nonetheless. i went to the restroom again to wrestle the lacy panties and felt all eyes were on me as i paraded my collared neck across the bar. It definitely put me in head space and gave me a buzz that just adde to the beer and jello shots i was consuming. The rest of the evening flew by with Mistress and i in conversation as well as listening to the great band, dancing a little and watching the new object of our desire performing. At one point Mistress asked if i like wearing her panties. i answered quickly that i like when she makes me wear them but this is actually not the whole truth. i have tried the lingerie of women i have lived with before and have even tried some of My Mistress’ a time or two. For me it is very hot to feel the cloth against my skin and even to fantasize that i am a woman. As i said before i don’t think i am bi or gay and don’t see myself being fucked by a man but would love to have lesbian sex and to have a pussy to share with another woman. And i don’t want to wear women’s lingerie all of the time but it was really hot to me for Mistress to tell me to wear it last night. i think that what made it good was that Mistress now knows something so intimate and secret about me that i have never shared with another soul and that she might tell me to wear more things and maybe more often. i also think it adds to the feeling i get when Mistress calls me a dirty wore and slut. So while i told her that it was her forcing me to do it that i like, it is actually her forcing me that excuses this perversion and partially fulfills the fantasy. Thinking about it now, I believe that this applies to a lot of fantasie that i have. i would probably not act on them myself but if Mistress "makes" me do it I can tell myself that it was okay to try it. That way i am free to do things that i otherwise might not ever have the guts to admit to or to try.
We left the club before the last set and said our goodbyes to our new sweetheart. Unfortunately she is leaving the country for two months so we won’t see her for a while. We headed home and Mistress said that i was released and to remove my collar. When i did i realized that it had gotten more comfortable as the night wore on and was feeling softer to the touch. Once in the bed i went straight for Mistress’ pussy and licked her thoroughly grinding my dick on the bed. We must have both been tired and had maybe consumed a little too much alcohol because it just never really went any further and off to sleep we went.
At some time in the night i woke with a raging hard on and spooned up to Mistress, pressing my crack into the spot between her cheeks where we both like to feel it. She stirred and said “Roll over”. i rolled onto my Back and Mistress rolled my way onto her side but did not touch me. i laid for a while with my dick straining for a touch but she did not make a move to touch me. After a little longer i was shaking all over with anticipation and sexual desire. Finally Mistress reached out and touched me and said to get a condom. i grabbed one quickly, put it on and turned to her, lifting her leg and positioning my dick at the entrance to her sweet pussy. i felt the opening and pushed myself into her in one long, determined thrust. She gasped at the intrusion but i paid no attention and started thrusting deeply in and out of her, slamming my hips against her as i pounded her. Mistress started moaning and said “Oh God, you are fucking me so hard.’ i told her that i was fucking her hard for making me lie so long with not attention and then rolled her onto her side so i could penetrate deeper and proceeded to fuck her harder and harder, the bed groaning from the motion, Mistress groaning from the intrusion and the orgasm that was building. i finally came incredibly hard and pumped until i was weak. We both collapsed on the bed and i fell asleep quickly.
In the morning Mistress woke me touching my cock and when my eyes opened i said “Good Morning Lover”. “I am your Mistress this morning”, she corrected, “Go make coffee”. i returned in minutes with two cups and set hers on the table next to her. She said “Very good. i have cum in my pussy from last night slave, and you are to clean me up with your tongue.” i gladly accepted this task and went to work quickly licking all over her beautiful sweet pussy and then focusing on her clit. She told me that i could use a finger so i slid one in and began stroking her G spot slowly while my tongue moved quickly and firmly over her clit. Mistress said that she was going to make me stay down there and lick her for a LONG time this morning. As i continued my ministrations her breathing increased and she began to moan. Then she said to stick a finger in her ass. i licked my ring finger and slid it into her asshole, my pointer finger went back into her pussy and i started licking again. It didn’t take long for Mistress to moan loudly, her hips bucking from the bed as she had a really great orgasm. She pushed me away to stop the sensation and i lay next to her. Mistress was disappointed with my level of hardness and stroked my cock to get it hard. The progress was slower than she liked so she swatted my ass. This seemed to make it grow so she swatted me again and again. Evidently this caused even more growth because Mistress told me to roll further to my side and spanked my bare ass with her flat hand over and over, alternating between left and right cheeks until i wasn’t sure i would be able to stand the sting of another blow. Then she grabbed my cock and declared that she was pleased and told me to wrap it up. i grabbed a condom and started to roll it on but i was surprised that it was not as hard as Mistress prefers but went on to try to put it in her anyway. She felt the softness right away and told me to get off of her and get on all fours . i complied and she grabbed a paddle and smacked my ass and the soles of me feet repeatedly trying to get me hard. After this failed i offered to try myself but even i was not able to get the erection she desired in a timely manner. Mistress declared out playtime over so i was left unsatisfied and horny.
We dressed and went to breakfast. Then we did some shopping and returned to do some work around the house. We got a call that the first of the offspring would be delayed coming home so Mistress said we should go back to the bedroom and play some more. We stripped off our clothes and i dropped to my knees in front of her, my tongue searching for her clit. She suggested that we should get in the bed so i let her lie on her pillow, then positioned myself so that my head was in her crotch and my cock was near her head. As i licked and fingered her she played with my cock. As her strokes got faster so did my tongue and soon i was licking furiously at her clit and she came once again, her hips off the bed as she convulsed and moaned loudly. i sat up right and moved my hips closer so Mistress could take my cock in her mouth and it was amazing to watch her slide her lips around my head and down my shaft and feel her tongue stroking my frenulum. i was hard as stone and Mistress was ready so i moved between her legs and began pounding her like i had in the night. Long hard strokes like a grudge fucking. It was my turn to cum and i had a massive orgasm, spasms racking me as i thrust into her.
So nights and days alone are a great thing with Mistress and even without other friends around we seem to be able to entertain ourselves and have a great time.
A Fine Pickle - 05/15/2010
18:00 EST
It’s a little unusual for me to have material to post twice in a day but fortunately today is an exception. The offspring are gone to friends’ houses for the night and after the last one left Mistress instructed me to clean my ass. I hurried to comply and flushed with two enemas and showered and shaved my whole crotch. Mistress still felt it had taken too long and told me so. I was still naked after the shower but I did not dare ask for clothes. Then she said to vacuum the den because my face would be in the rug.. I accomplished this task too, not sure what to expect. Then she came into the room and I knelt at her feet. The collar appeared from behind her and she tested the fit around my neck. Pleased, she gave me a dog tag and told me to put it on the collar. The tag says SLAVE on one side and Property of Mistress Kim on the other. The collar is beautiful black leather about 1” wide with a single row of silver studs. It was a little difficult to get the tag over the thick D ring but I managed.
Mistress had left the room while I was putting the tag on but returned and fastened it around my neck. I think it’s a little snug but I’m sure I will get used to it. I just LOVE it and I love being the property of my Mistress. There are two square ottomans in the Den and she put them side by side and told me to kneel on them. I hooped right up and she placed a pillow on the floor in front of them and told me I was to place my head on this. I leaned all the way over and used my hands to lower my head slowly to the pillow, the crown of my head on the soft surface. Mistress offered me another pillow saying I would be in this position for a while and I gladly accepted to add more cushion still not quite sure what to expect.
Mistress left the room again and returned with a camera and said that she was going to fuck me with the cucumber she’d bought the day before and that she was going to take pictures of it spreading my ass wide. My breath caught in my throat as I anticipated the feeling of Mistress pleasuring me with that huge veggie and I dreaded not knowing what she would do with the pictures. She said that she might make me show them to someone and asked if that would embarrass me. Of course I admitted that it would.
It was only seconds before I felt the mild sting of the padded paddle that Mistress used on my cheeks and the soft fur rubbing up my crack and over my anus. More blows followed and Mistress commented that my ass is truly a whore and that it opens up for her every time she is near. I believe this to be true because I could feel that it was relaxed completely and wanted to take her in. Mistress smacked me with her bare hand a few times, okay more than a few times and my ass was on fire from the sting. Then she stooped down and held the biggest cucumber I have ever seen up to my mouth and asked which end I wanted. I picked the end that was a little more blunt but also wider closer to the end and she asked “Do you want to be my little cocksucker again and suck on this big cucumber slave?” My lips parted automatically as I grunted my agreement and she slid it in quickly to the back of my mouth and started stroking it in and out as I tried to keep my teeth away and just use my lips and tongue, my jaws aching from being stretched. Mistress said that I was doing a great job sucking it and that she was fucking my mouth the same way she was going to fuck my ass. And with that she pulled it out and began wrapping her end with vet wrap and put a condom on my end. The she grabbed the lube and as she squirted some on my hole she commented that it was open and she was able to just pour it right in. From my vantage I couldn’t see what she was doing, but I felt her fingers slide into me a start probing and stroking. Then it seemed more fingers and I think she was trying to be merciful and pre stretch me a little before she used the cucumber. I savored the feeling of her fingers for a few minutes and Mistress said I must beg for what I wanted. I pleaded with her “Mistress please fuck me with the cucumber. I want to feel in sliding into me and feel it stretching me wide.” Then I felt the pressure of the end pushing its way into my ass. It was not too bad at first but did not take long to start really stretching me and I winced from the pain. Mistress asked if I was okay and I said “Yes Mistress” even though my ass was screaming NOOOOOO!!! I lifted my ass in spite of what it thought and offered more of myself to the giant beast that was threatening to split me wide open. Mistress obliged by pushing more of it in. My breathing got really shallow and I was moaning aloud and Mistress asked if I wanted to use my safe word and said that I wasn’t even to the big part yet. I told her no and lifted my ass yet again for more of the torturous treatment. Again Mistress pushed farther and said “You really are the biggest slut ever. You want me to fuck you hard with this huge cucumber and your ass wants to suck it all in”. I relaxed as much as I could and pushed my ass back against her force pushing it further into me as I did. Mistress took this as her cue and began stroking slowly with the green monster, pulling almost out to where it felt really good and not too large and then pushing steadily in until I was sure that I would scream, then backing back out just before I was past the point I could stand. “Oh that’s it, I’m fucking you with it now” she said “Fucking your slutty whore ass with a huge cucumber and you’re going to eat it later and love it. Aren’t you?” I could only grunt yes. The Jolly Green Giant moved faster and harder in my ass and Mistress asked if I wanted to stroke my cock and cum. I thanked her and did but the feelings in my ass, the incredible pain mixed with the ultimate pleasure were more than I could overcome and I gave up after a short attempt. It must have seemed that I wanted to quit because Mistress asked me if I was done and I said no, that I wanted more. I was rewarded with yet more punishment and ecstasy in the form of a faster and harder fucking that I have ever felt. She finally said that I was quite red and stopped, saying that I would be thinking about this all night while we are out and about. I was told to get up and wipe my ass and come to the bedroom. When I arrived Mistress held out a pair of lacy red women’s “man shorts” and I knew that she expected me to wear them. She has told me before that she was going to make me wear something with scratchy lace so I would know how it felt and she definitely found it. They are quite uncomfortable against my skin and do not cover my ass nor do they have any place for my cock and balls to go so I am just hanging out the sides in front.
Lastly, Mistress made me go the kitchen, wash and slice the cucumber, dice some onions and make a cucumber salad which I put in the fridge to cool. Then she suggested that I write in my blog and minutes ago she came by to give me bites of cucumber to eat. I absolutely do not like the taste of cukes and had a hard time with the first bite until I started visualizing that big green vegetable pumping in and out of my ass, making me sweat as it stretched me wide and the flavor changed to be something really sweet that I actually enjoyed. And I enjoyed several more bites before Mistress said it was time to get ready to go out. So I am hoping that maybe there will be more to the story later tonight but if not my ass will be reminding me of the afternoon delight that I have already had.
Musings of the Mistress: Response to her slave's rantings - 05/15/2010
Backing Up to Regroup - 05/15/2010
05/15/2010
8:45 EST
So still no hot and steamy BDSM stories to post but there was some really great vanilla sex last night and this morning. In fact it was so good that it reminded Mistress and me that we need to have time for that no matter what we decide we will do about our playing. Maybe I’m a little ahead of myself. The reflecting that i did yesterday continued through the day and i exchanged a lot of messages with Mistress in which we shared our perspectives on where we are and what we expect. It seems that we both kind of jumped into this and liked it, i like the scenes and Mistress likes the fringe benefits, and we never really took the time to clarify our individual ideas or our wants and needs or how we intended to get what we each wanted and needed. So the first letter from Mistress that was the Call to Service seemed like the perfect situation but only because i made assumptions that she was thinking the same as me. If anyone is considering this type of play or just getting started this could be a valuable lesson. Always talk about your vision of how things are going to play out and each participant needs to honestly address what they want to get out of it or those things will not likely happen. And if only one party is getting what they need the imbalance will most certainly cause problems. Even after discussing it the better part of the day and evening yesterday and some this morning my Mistress still is not comfortable that she knows what my wants and needs are and likewise i am not comfortable that i know hers either. So i will use my time today to try to detail how i think this should play out for my own self and i will trust that Mistress will do the same for me so we can then compare and try to figure what will work for both of us.
For me, BDSM play is all about the head space. i have also heard it called sub head space. For those who are not familiar with it i may do a piece on it sometime, particularly if Mistress directs me to, but it might take a fair amount of time to describe and for now i want to focus on what puts me there. But i will tell you that it is like being high. i have smoked my share of pot and done some cocaine before too, and for me head space is somewhere in between the two because it gives me a rush like coke with the euphoric feeling of a pot buzz but without the hazy feeling from either. i hope that this description helps my Mistress understand why i am like a drug addict who wants to feel that feeling all of the time.
Now on to what the drug is that gives me the high and the delivery system. There is something hard wired in my brain that makes me want to be subservient to a woman and i believe that my Mistress has similar wiring that makes her the ideal complement. She sent me a letter to call me to service 12 days ago and i was in sub head space after the first sentence:
"his letter is to inform you that you will be required to perform tonight."
i don’t know exactly what it was about those words that triggered the response in me but i think that it is mostly the tone of the sentence. It was totally commanding with no room for argument or compromise. It simply and succinctly states a fact and that fact is that i will be required to perform. As the letter went on the feeling increased, the head space became a more intense high. Similarly, Mistress told me a couple of weeks ago that i was to re-caulk and scrub our bathtub on Saturday and i went right into head space and was able to go there any time i thought of it (okay, i was really anticipating it) and especially while i was actually doing the work. In fact, i was able to achieve head space while doing the work and occasionally Mistress would stop in to check my progress and the buzz increased in intensity. So she is able to put me in head space with just a word and she can control the level of that buzz by the amount of interaction she has with me. When she sent me a note telling me that she had purchased a zucchini that she intended to fuck me with i was put into head space and stayed there the whole day. Of course when she had me bent double and bound to the head board with the monster vegetable pushed against me, trying to invade me the buzz was much, much stronger. But like a recreational drug i wouldn’t want the same level of intensity all of the time. And it makes little difference whether i am receiving (or anticipating receiving) attention like when Mistress chooses to pleasure me or punish me or i am giving (or anticipating giving) attention like when she made me bathe and shave her, i still get the head space buzz.
Mistress has been feeling that she needs more attention and more of my focus and i suggested that she command it from me. She confirmed a suspicion of mine that it would lose some of the appeal if she felt like she was making it happen (I guess it would be kind of like masturbating), but she seemed to be okay with giving me a general directive like if she told me that i must make her a dinner and bathe her sometime in the coming week. i theorize that this is a good way for her to get what she needs. She also enjoyed when i jumped up to do the dinner dishes for her and came back to give her a foot massage, all without her having to ask or command it. So there are things that i can do to show her that i am thinking of her pleasure and focusing energy on her and not just making this all about me and i can still get head space while doing it.
I may have jumped around a little there so let me back up a bit. After our spat the other night we have been talking about backing off and not playing or playing less. This is of course not what i want but Mistress is not having her needs met in the way that she thought that she would. One solution we discussed is to limit play to Friday nights and to make it all about what i want or need. This is far better than not playing at all but like a good drug addict i want more. Given the choice, i would choose to have this feeling most if not all of the time. i would like for Mistress to think of my needs a few times a week and for me to focus on pleasing her the rest of the time. Even if the majority of the days of the week were about her i would still be getting more out of the arrangement because as i said earlier doing for her gives me the buzz too. To this end i have already been doing dishes and laundry whenever i see that they need to be done without her having to ask and offering foot rubs in the evenings. These are small things that may have little significance to her and i need to spend more time and energy thinking of and performing actions that will give her even more pleasure but this will not be an onerous task to me. On the contrary, the more time and energy i spend on this the more intense the head space is.
My Mistress has instructed me to tell her what i want and need but all i really want and need is to be in head space as much as i can. And to make that possible i must think of what she will want and need so we will both be able to reap benefits from it. So i propose that we try making 2 or 3 days of every week about pleasuring me and 3 or 4 days about pleasuring her and maybe have 1 or 2 days that we do not play and just have vanilla time. Reality can screw up schedules but if these days are scheduled tentatively for the same days of each week and make up times available for when postponements occur it might be the best of all possibilities. Mistress will get her time that she knows i am thinking of only pleasuring her, i get my time for her to pleasure me and we get some time to just be lovers. After Mistress reads this and tells me her thoughts i will post again to update what the plan turns out to be.
Play Takes a Back Seat - 05/14/2010
05/14/2010
7:30 EST
This post will be used as an evaluation of some things that happened last night that affect my relationship with my Mistress on a personal level. If you are looking for more of the sexy aspect of my story then you may want to wait for tomorrow’s post and hope it is juicier. I know that I am hoping that it will be.
All day yesterday Mistress and I exchanged very hot and sexy messages and I arrived home feeling really hot for her and excited about the prospects of what might be coming. The cage did arrive as expected and she opened it but would not even let me see it. “That’s okay”, I thought, “I can still hope to see the new collar and perhaps even wear it tonight”. I grilled dinner, we fed the family then put the offspring to bed and sat to talk and watch a little TV while they settled to sleep. Our conversation was some sexy and some vanilla and at one point Mistress started telling me how a massage was different from the rubbing that I give her on a regular basis. I evidently made the mistake of referring to the rubbing as massage at some point and she felt the need to clarify. I must have gotten a little defensive because as she went on describing what constituted a massage to her I apparently cut her off and/or made it difficult for her to finish what she was saying so she got pissed at me and said that I didn’t want to hear what she wanted. She also referred to an instance from the other day where she was telling me what she wanted and that I must have said or done something to make her feel that I was not interested in knowing. From there it seemed that her mood never recovered and despite my best efforts it just devolved further.
Obviously I have a problem with taking things personally because I got defensive to begin with and I also have a problem with making assumptions because I assumed I knew what Mistress was going to say before she had a chance to say it. On top of that my words were not impeccable. These are things that I am working hard to correct about myself and it is difficult to overcome but I will continue to strive for better. I just hope that she can tolerate me until I can show her loving respect at all times instead of being self centered and petty at times. If there were some way to go back and take back what was said I would certainly do things totally differently.
There are things that I have learned from the experience that I will take as the positive aspects and I hope that Mistress will also see the positive that can be made from it. For one, I think that I may now know what she was really trying to tell me. I hate to make an assumption and I hope that she will correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that she needs more attention from me than she has been getting. This is understandable because she spends a great deal of time and energy making up and acting out scenes for my enjoyment and the times that those scenes involve taking care of her needs and desires are few. She could direct the scenes to be about her at any time but perhaps that makes it insincere and she needs to feel that I am giving her the attention because I want to and not because she tells me to. This becomes a catch 22 that I tried to discuss with her just before we went to sleep but evidently she was already too irritated with me to talk any further. As I see it. Mistress would like to be pampered a little, like having dinner made for her, a relaxing bath drawn, a nice long massage, some special love making that is not focused on me. You know, like a thoughtful loving husband would give his beautiful deserving wife. Except that I am not as thoughtful as she deserves. She teases me about being greedy and I thought it was just in fun but she must feel there is some truth behind her words. Upon reflection I agree.
My Mistress started out a few months ago on mission to “fill everyone’s cups”. She was not getting what she needed and felt that if everyone else was getting what they needed that it would come back to her automatically. That’s a great concept and one that I respect and admire her greatly for inventing. The only problem with it is that I still haven’t developed the frame of mind to give back properly yet. The things that she is doing are wonderful and I appreciate her SOOOOO much but I have done a really crappy job of reciprocating and making her feel appreciated.
So I resolve as of right now to work diligently toward making sure that my wonderful wife and my Mistress feels appreciated and loved in the way that she deserves. My focus will no longer be on what I want and what is happening to me, but instead on what I can do to make her happy, to let her really feel my love and not just hear it in my words. Anything less would be a travesty.
This brings me back to my dilemma and the real reason that I thought it prudent to include this personal aspect in my slave blog. If we are living this as a lifestyle, I as her slave, can I still do things for without her feeling that she “made” me do it? Will it feel the same to both of us? I have never been the most thoughtful person so there is probably not a lot of comparison base for her there and maybe that makes it not an issue. No, this is all about me really being a selfish bastard! If I were truly a giving person I would not even be wondering this and there would be no dilemma. If I can make myself into the man that she deserves I will not think of whether she feels it is genuine because it will BE genuine. Back to my resolution and I will do my best to live this each and every day:
I resolve to work diligently toward making my wonderful wife and my Mistress feel appreciated and loved in the way that she deserves!
End of story.
Fantasies Revealed - 05/13/2010
05/13/2010
8:30 EST
Yesterday i revealed some fantasies that had played in my head during a hand job by my loving Mistress and they seem to have caused a little stir. There was enough homosexual content that Mistress actually asked if i am bisexual and if these are fantasies that i wish to live out (she is the most wonderful woman in the world partly because of her willingness to indulge my fantasies). i replied that they were just random scenes from things i have read in the past that came to my mind, not suggestions for what i wanted to do and that as far as i know i am not bi and have no conscious desire to be with another man or men. We chatted back and forth throughout the day yesterday about fantasies and deviant thoughts and a recurring theme was that my ass seems to get a lot of focus. i explained to her that it may be partly due to my first sexual experience involving mutual ass licking with a friend of my sister when we were young. Mistress said that as much as she enjoys playing the game with me that she really likes when we fuck and i agreed that it was just about my most favorite thing in the world. I’m jumping ahead of myself a little to say this, but last evening i told her that fucking her was second only to the loving embraces we share. Sorry if that sounds corny but it is true.
My revelation for the day (not to my Mistress of course) is that i have issues getting erections during ass play. From what i read this is not unusual, but it is certainly undesirable. Mistress wants me to be able to get an erection on demand and i want so badly to be able to give her this gift. This is a message i received from her yesterday afternoon:
"So my deviant sex slave, what part of you shall I violate tonight? Maybe I should be musing more about what shall I violate you with? Hummmmmm.....I really think a good slave should be able to keep an erection when his ass is being fucked, so maybe that is what I will do to you tonight. Maybe I will put your new collar on you, and the cock ring with the metal balls, and then use the little strap on and make you keep your hard on for me. Yes, every time you start to loose it, I will pull out and make you wait. I won't fuck your greedy asshole unless you are hard. This is a skill a good sex toy should have and I think you need lots, and lots of practice. Even if I don't allow anyone to touch it, I think I still would like it hard. It is mine after all, isn't it slave? If I want it hard, then that's what you will do. You need to learn cock control. I want to be able to fuck you as I please and then be able to hop on and really fuck you. For this I need a really hard dick. You want your dick to get hard for me don't you? You want to be conditioned to get hard when I want it hard don't you?"
To which i responded:
"My Dearest Mistress, i desire only to please you and to have a hard cock at your disposal any time you feel that it should be hard. Your training in this discipline would be greatly appreciated and i will do my best to make your efforts in this regards worthwhile. Any training method you deem as appropriate will receive my total support and cooperation. Thank you very much for this honor.
your devoted and deviant slave in all things"
Mistress also sent me a message that she had found me a collar. Apparently, the clerk at the pet store asked her what type of dog she had. She said it’s not for a dog. He asked what it was for and she told him it was for her husband. i would have loved to see his expression. i asked Mistress if i could see it when i got home and she of course said i was being greedy. She thinks i am greedy a lot! i like to think it is just curiosity and desire but i will not argue with her over the matter. It makes me feel dirty and i like it when she makes me feel like her dirty, greedy slutty, sex toy. We talked of a party that a friend was to attend that was for swingers but with a twist that the friend would be dressed as a Dom and that the people were a little older and perhaps not so attractive. Mistress thought it would be an excellent venue for us to exercise our exhibitionist tendencies and i think she may try to get us an invitation. The chastity cage that i ordered is due to arrive today and the idea of wearing my new collar and cock cage in front of a group of people while my beautiful Mistress whips my ass is very exciting and i hope that we get to attend. She even mentioned that she might make me perform sexual acts on people there but I’m sure we will have to see how that plays out. Mistress likes the idea of this party because if she is the Dom she will not have to fuck any men and can pick which women she wants to play with.
As the evening went on, Mistress decided that she wanted to fuck rather than play with my ass so we went to bed and i think we hit on a nice balance for how to blend our BDSM play and our vanilla play. She was very commanding and directed me on what she wanted which i really like and i was also able to get the love and affection that i wanted too. Seemed like the best of both worlds. i hope that she sees it that way, too.
Before we went to sleep Mistress told me that i was not to wake her before 5:45. That is too late for any play and i was a little disappointed but of course i said “Yes, Mistress”. At 5:30 i woke to the feel of her hand stroking my cock and it took very little time for it to become rock hard. Mistress instructed me to wrap it and we fucked again. i was simply delighted to have the bonus time. We started slowly with me on my side, her on her back and me stroking into her long and deep, nearly pulling out completely and then pushing all the way in. As her breathing increased so did my pace and soon i was pulling out slowly but slamming my dick deep inside her quickly, then pulling out slowly to slam into her again and again. She turned to her side so that i would be upright on my knees to get better penetration and leverage and i continued as before by pulling out slowly but a little faster than before and pumping my cock into her. Our bodies slapped with each thrust and Mistress commented that it was like i was spanking her pussy. It didn’t take long after hearing that for me to cum in great waves. Afterward, we lay spooned together and i rubbed her back and side. That is truly my favorite thing in all the world.
Bondage and Release - 05/12/2010
05/12/2010
9:30 EST
What a night! Mistress kept me in vet wrap cock bondage and forced me to wear a sanitary napkin and when i needed to piss she tightened it even further and added a twist by making me bend over and grab my ankles while she stuck a tampon up my ass. To keep me from sucking it in she tied the string around the applicator tube so i ended up with the tube in my crack. It wasn’t too bad at first but after about 10 minutes it started to sting and was very uncomfortable. Mistress said that was only a taste of what she goes through each month and that it didn’t even include the mental suffering. By the time the offspring went to bed i was about to explode with need to piss again and was also in torment from the discomfort and pain. Fortunately my kind Mistress cut the wrap away and freed my cock. It was near agony when she removed the tampon and the burning continued even after it was removed and only now is my asshole starting to feel “normal” again.
Mistress returned to her chair and bade me to massage her feet while she watched TV. i sat on the floor next to her and applied lotion to each and did my best to soothe and relieve her. i had an incredible need to kiss her feet and asked her if i could do so. She denied me the pleasure at first but finally relented after i begged and told her that i wanted to make love to them with my lips. Oh how sweet and wonderful her toes and the soles of her feet were in my mouth. i used my lips and tongue and face to rub and suck and slide over them. i sucked her toes as if i was giving each one head, pulling them all the way into my mouth and using my tongue to massage them, sliding them in and out, wishing i could make them cum.
The amount of time that passed was a mystery to me because i was lost in my love for my Mistress. She told me to go to the bedroom where she would relieve me, after which i was to rub her back and must not fall asleep. It had been a couple of days since i was allowed to orgasm so needless to say i was excited and nearly ran to the bed and Mistress had to remind me to light candles which i never forget to do. The bondage must have had me over stimulated because i was unable to get a hard on at first so i took my turn rubbing her back with massage oil instead. She asked me to tell her a story so i started one about going to a club where they had a secret dungeon room and that we went into the room and found a group of Doms that bound me to the wall and took turns whipping me with a flogger. Then Mistress fucked my ass while the others watched. At this point i sensed that she had fallen asleep and i must have done the same soon after.
We both woke again within a few minutes and she rubbed my poor cock until i was near orgasm and while i was peaking she started talking to me about my greedy ass and how it loved to open up for her. The visualization of my asshole spreading wide was suddenly vivid and i came in great spasms all over my stomach. Mistress milked every drop from me, pulling slowly and firmly up my shaft to bring all of the juice out. Then she dragged her finger through the puddle and stuck it in my mouth to lick clean. i licked at my own salty cum over and over as she wetted her finger and stuck it back in my mouth to lick. i felt like a total slut and even the memory of my ass opening for her and being made to eat my own cum is giving me a hard on as i type. At last she told me to put out the candles and rub her back more so i went to the bathroom and dried off, extinguished the lights and curled up behind her, rubbing her until we both fell fast asleep.
At about 3:30 i woke with a raging hard on again and curled up behind my Mistress, pressing my dick against her back. i dared not try to wake her for my own pleasure so i rubbed very gently on her until my erection subsided and i fell back to sleep. In the morning i woke to the feeling of her hand stroking me and she quickly had me hard yet again. She rubbed all over my frenulum and had me very close to orgasm for some time while visions of different fantasy scenes played in my mind. i pictured being forced to dress in a corset with garters and fishnet stockings then get my hands and knees with my face in Mistress Christy’s crotch, her hand forcing my mouth on her pussy to lick her clit while Mistress Kim fucked my ass with a huge dildo. i saw a vision of Mistress Kim taking me to a room where she tied me to a low table and sold me to anyone who wanted to fuck her cheap whore slut’s ass or use his mouth for $2 or both for $3. Women with strapons and men too lined up to take turns fucking me from both ends, filling my asshole and my mouth and making me truly a whore. Some paid the $3 and fucked my ass and then made me lick them after to clean them off and one man made me suck his limp dick and make him hard so he could fuck me and i could hear Mistress' voice telling me that how much of a slut i am and that i was sucking that dick because i wanted to feel it fucking me. These fantasies went on as long as the stroking. At last Mistress asked if i was thinking of her fucking me with a zucchini. At first i was still in my own fantasy but she then asked if i could picture her fucking my ass and that vision popped into my head and my orgasm quickly followed. After i was through cumming we realized it was time to rise from bed so reality set back in.
So now more than ever, i am my Mistress’ slave in body and soul, her whore and slut to use as she likes, her servant to do her bidding. Whatever she desires i will make reality for her. Whatever she commands will be done. i want only to please her and just the thought of bringing her pleasure is nearly as strong for me now as my own orgasm.
The Dragon Lives - 05/11/2010
05/11/2010
17:45 EST
Evidently, the Dragon is quite alive and active still. And this dragon has a vendetta because i failed my Mistress yet again. Sunday night the Dragon was quite powerful and i allowed it to anger me when i was supposed to be resistant and to fight it back with my own positive energy. The result is that Mistress was furious with me all day yesterday and ready to quit playing completely because she felt she was not getting what she needed from the game. i had most of the day off today and had intended to spend it in her service but instead have been in deep discussion with her over where we are and where we are going. It seemed that Mistress wanted to continue but only on terms that i considered quite onerous. Now i believe that we have reached a better tentative agreement that will allow us to continue and it’s much fairer: i am to adore her in every way, provide her with comfort and copious amounts of attention and Love and in exchange, i am allowed to be tortured and denied pleasure. See? Much fairer.
Really, i am just so happy to feel that we are back on track that i would do anything Mistress asked (or commanded). To show me her affection just moments ago she took me into the bedroom and made me remove my pants, took vet wrap and wrapped it several times around my dick, then pulled back between my legs and wrapped it around my waste. So my dick is pulled up tight to my perineum and my balls pushed askew and all are extremely tight. Then she put a big sanitary napkin in my underwear so i would be “really uncomfortable” and told me that she intended to play with me randomly all evening to keep me half hard so that it would hurt. This is partly payback for Sunday night I’m sure but also because i happened to highlight torture as one of the fetishes from the list that i am interested in. Mistress asked me if i want to be tortured all of the time but i said “Well, not ALL of the time.” So now i have to wonder how i am going to piss. And i can only hope that Mistress will allow me to have a strawberry from the ones she bought at the store. My mouth is watering already…even if my dick is terribly uncomfortable.
Our original playtime was supposed to be only 3 or 4 days but has lasted over a week now. Mistress asked how long i want to play this time and i said “I don’t want to quit.” i think i have truly offered myself into slavery with my whole heart and soul. But i now know that my Mistress has my best interest at heart, so long as i am smart enough to have her best interest as my primary focus always!
The Goddess Finally Arrives - 05/10/2010
05/10/2010
7:35 EST
The Goddess has finally arrived and the Dragon appears to be vanquished once again. My loving Mistress has suffered long awaiting her and now i hope that her mind will be put at ease. The Dragon was so powerful this time that he even had her thinking that she might be delayed due to impregnation. Even with my assurances that this would not be possible because of the preventive measures we have been taking (we use condoms always) the sly reptile kept her mind in a state of unease. Last evening was particularly difficult for Mistress and i could find no way to bring her comfort. It was particularly troublesome because it was happening on a day meant to honor her. i trust that she will find a way to help me to help her more in the future because it is very frustrating for a lowly slave who is so dedicated to her happiness to be of no comfort or assistance.
But this morning while showering i heard the voice of my Mistress saying “You better not be touching that dick.” My heart almost jumped from my chest with joy at hearing her voice without the Dragon’s influence. i answered that i had but only to shave and that i was extremely horny for her this morning, wishing that i could touch it more. She opened the shower curtain to check on me and started stroking my extremely sensitive cock, slowly and softly sliding her hand along its length. i thought i was going to cum right then but she removed her hand before i could and left me to finish my shower alone. As i left for work she teased me even more by telling me that we missed what she had planned for the prior night and now i can’t quit wondering what that might have been. So i will be suffering all day with my horny dick rubbing against the fabric of my pants and the bittersweet anticipation of whether she will send me a sexy message that will add to the fire or if she will leave me to suffer the frustration if she does not.
Epicurean Delights - 05/09/2010
05/09/2010
17:30 EST
Epicurean: Devoted to the pursuit of sensual pleasure, especially to the enjoyment of good food and comfort.
I love this definition of epicurean because it applies so perfectly, well except for the comfort part. My eyes are open now and my epicurean horizons much wider. Yesterday I worked all morning to please Mistress. I cooked, cleaned the kitchen, cleared debris off the deck and patio wrote in my Blog and lastly went to the store. When I returned it was after lunch time and I was really hungry so I went to the fridge to forage something to seat. Mistress came in and saw what I was doing and said “Oh, no. I am fixing your lunch today. You stay out of the refrigerator and wait while I cook.” I felt the butterflies immediately because I knew what she meant, it was time to eat the zucchini. As I watched she washed it and she asked if I had a preference of how she cooked it for me. I replied that I didn’t except that I hoped she would do it in a way that would ensure that I liked it. “You will love it no matter how I cook it. I had intended for you to eat it on your hands and knees but the offspring are around” she said. I told her that they were out of sight and that I would be happy to do it the way she intended. Mistress said “Well, then we need to make the bites small for you so you can get them with your mouth.”
The zucchini sizzled in the sauté pan and the aroma of garlic filled the air making my mouth water and my hungry stomach growl. Mistress stirred the concoction with an evil grin on her face the entire time. She asked if I liked the smell and I couldn’t deny that it was wonderful. Finally, she pulled the pan from the stove and said that I was to move some boxes for her. As I did I heard her go to the bedroom so when I was finished I went there too and knocked to ask permission to enter. Mistress said to come in and I found a bowl of freshly fried zucchini squash in a rectangular bowl on the floor at the foot of the bed. She gave me a very serious look and motioned to the bowl and I understood and knelt in front of it. I asked for a pillow for my knees and she tossed one at me. I placed it under me and as I leaned forward to place my forearms on the floor on either side of the bowl Mistress sat on the edge of the bed next to me to “have a better view”. “I am going to enjoy this so much and you are going to LOVE zucchini” she chuckled.
My lips parted as my face got nearer to the bowl and I used my tongue to slide one of the cubes of zucchini to the edge and up the side a little so I could grab it with my teeth. I bit down on the warm morsel just as Mistress said “Remember, that is the vegetable that as fucking your ass. You are going to love it just as much as it loved you.” I immediately visualized being on the bed with my feet bound to the bed behind my head and Mistress ramming that huge, green monster into my asshole over and over. I don’t know if that vision changed the flavor of the food in my mouth, but I do know that I was chewing on just about the most heavenly thing I had ever had in my mouth. I finished the first bite and went right back for another, and another, and another with Mistress coaching me the whole time. Telling me about how I was going to eat all the vegetable she gave me from now on and that I may request zucchini any time. I asked if I could also request that I be fucked by a zucchini and she agreed that I could. As much as I loved the taste of the squash there sure seemed to be a LOT of it. It truly was a large vegetable and I was being forced to eat it all in one sitting and was only about ¼ done.
Mistress must have known that I would need a little encouragement because she got up from the bed and walked to her nightstand to return donning a glove and holding a bottle of lube. My pants were pulled down and a cool trail of lube started running down my crack. Her finger disappeared into my ass instantly and she added another, stroking me all around and in and out as I picked back up the pace of my eating. I was still a little sore from the night before but I was still invigorated and starved for more of the savory zucchini. She said “Your ass is stretched out and I just fell right into you huge whoring asshole. I hope it goes back tight again.” As I neared the halfway point I felt my ass being stretched again. I learned later that Mistress had three fingers side by side and was sliding them all deep into my ass. The pressure on my P spot was wonderful and may have made me cum if I hadn’t been so focused on finishing the zucchini. I ate and ate and continued to eat the bites while my asshole was stroked and loved. I finished the last piece and didn’t want the feeling in my tender asshole to stop so I began licking the bowl, using my tongue to wipe away the greasy residue in the bowl. The hand was then pulled from my ass, my pants pulled back up and the plate cleared away. Mistress even used a napkin to wipe my greasy face. “Did you really like it?” she asked. “Oh Mistress, I LOVE zucchini. I think it is my new favorite food.”
Today we bought zucchini and squash plants and I planted them in a little garden bed in the front of the house. I will tend them carefully and hope that I will get some really large specimens that will show me as much love as I show them.
Veggie Tails - 05/08/2010
05/08/2010
11:30 EST
Came from work a little early today to start the weekend. Friday nights have been special for a couple of months now with Mistress making it all about meeting my needs. That usually means some kind of play with my insatiable ass. For tonight she had asked what i would like to do but i declined to say because her Dragon had been so difficult to keep under control this week that i didn’t want her to feel committed to doing anything. She called me to the bedroom to see something and told me to kneel. She then produced a black leather collar with silver studs all around in a single line. It was just about the most beautiful thing i have ever seen and made my heart sing to think that she had purchased something so special for her lowly undisciplined slave. Unfortunately it was about 1” short to fit around my neck even though i held my breath while she tried to fit it and i wanted it to fit so badly. Then in her commanding voice (which sends shivers of pleasure down my spine) she told me that i was to prepare dinner so i had better clean myself up quickly first. Cleaning up meant that i was to give myself a couple of enemas and then shower and shave my ass and balls. The enemas are usually 2 quarts each but i went a little light on the size of tonight so it wouldn’t take so long and finished my shower. When i returned to the kitchen Mistress grabbed my ass and asked if i was clean enough to eat off of. i grinned meekly and answered “Yes, Mistress”.
We ate the pizza i had prepared as we watched a movie with the offspring and while they were getting ready for bed i went to clean the kitchen without being told. It is my goal to do more and more for her and free her time and energy to use thinking of nasty things to do to me. In that regard i sent her an email yesterday with a list of all kinds of fetishes and kinks with the ones that i am interested in highlighted. i must be REALLY kinky because there were very few that i did NOT highlight. Among those was the ritual spanking fetish. While i thoroughly enjoy a good, hard spanking i don’t see it as something that i want to spend a lot of time on, particularly not dressing up for teacher/student or other scenarios.
So the after the kitchen clean up Mistress said that i must take the zucchini and squash that i had picked to be the first of my new vegetable eating lifestyle and wash them thoroughly. She also held out a strawberry to me (I’ve never really like them either) and asked if it didn’t resemble a tongue. i nodded a little nervously. It was beginning to sound like all of the anticipation of the week was getting ready to be met, and then some!! She said to take the veggies and the berry and put them in a special place in the bedroom so i laid them on out carefully on top of my dresser.
Once the offspring were quiet in their beds Mistress said to go to the bedroom and strip which i did as quickly as possible. i knelt with my hands clasped behind my back and she came into the room and began lighting candles and making preparations around me. i closed my eyes so that i could be surprised. i wasn’t disappointed because she grasped one of my hands and wrapped my wrist with vet wrap and then wrapped it around the other, cuffing my hands behind me securely. Mistress said that she was not going to blindfold me tonight because she wanted me to see what she was doing to me. i took the hint and kept my eyes open from then on. A pillow was thrown in front of me on the floor and she motioned toward it. i knew what she wanted and leaned my body forward trying to place my head on the pillow without falling too hard. It was difficult without the use of my hands but i managed with just a small thud. Almost immediately i felt the stream of lube running down my ass and her finger spreading it around and into my ass hole. Next she took the strawberry and stroked it around my puckered hole, telling me that it was licking me and she pushed it in just a little to make it feel like a tongue. The berry teased my hole for a few minutes and i sensed myself opening up to her the way i always do. Mistress says that as soon as i my ass is exposed that my slutty, whore asshole opens up like a gaping hole for her, begging for her to fuck it. She leaned back and told me to turn over onto my back. Again it was not easy without the use of my hands but i managed without too much pain. Once on my back, she presented the strawberry and asked if i was ready to eat it. i don’t think i have ever craved any food so badly in all of my life. Mistress took the first bite before she would let me have any and then held it to my mouth. i opened my lips and took in half of it in one bite and savored it as if it were the only food in the world, chewing it voraciously. When i finished that bite she held the rest to me and i took all but the leaf in my hungry mouth, eating like it was to be my last meal. i wonder if my mouth was displaying the hunger that i was also feeling in my greedy hole. She was very pleased with the way that i ate and asked if i would always like strawberries now and if i would eat them whenever they were offered and i eagerly agreed that i would.
Next Mistress stood and told me to lie on the bed. i struggled with this one, getting myself off the floor and onto the bed using just my legs was harder than i would have thought but i made it with my hands uncomfortably under my lower back, my head on the pillow. She came to me with nylon restraints and hooked one around each ankle and each was then pulled up over my head to be hooked to the headboard. i was jackknifed, helpless with my ass fully exposed. i watched as mistress retrieved the zucchini and wrapped the smaller end with more of the vet wrap to make a handle. The one i had chosen is 1-3/4” in diameter and over 7” long, far bigger than anything i have ever had inside me before. She told me when i picked it that she thought i would have opted for the smallest one since i would be forced to eat all of it but i had told her that if was going to do this that i wanted to really feel it and the bigger one would only be a couple of bites more anyway. So my ass won the battle over my mouth. When she had it wrapped and ready she poured more lube down my crack and it ran down between my cheeks and all over my hands making them really wet. She knelt next to my head and presented the squash to me, saying that i was to open my mouth. When i did she pushed it past my lips and told me to suck on it. She said that i should take it in like a cock. i worked my jaws to open wider and wider and I gagged a little when it finally reached my throat. Mistress said “Oh you are deep throating this big zucchini cock. You would be such a good little cock sucker”. i felt dirty and shamed for what i was doing and at being called a cock sucker but wanted only to please her and to please the thing that i wanted fucking me so i sucked it the way that i felt Mistress sucking me, trying to keep my teeth covered and using my tongue to stroke the skin. I found myself eagerly trying to BE the best little cock sucker and my excitement grew even greater. Then she put a condom on the zucchini and lubed it up, too. As she held it to my squirming ass she said that she didn’t think that i would be able to take this huge vegetable but i was determined show that i could and i was going crazy wanting to feel something rubbing in my ass.
Originally i thought that perhaps i would be given something smaller to get me opened a little first, but Mistress placed the blunt, large end of the squash against my tight, hungry hole and began to push. It was a great amount of pressure and i pushed back trying to open myself to it. She stopped pushing forward and held it just inside me and the pressure was bearable but i wanted more. i asked if she would push farther and she asked if i was sure. i was really hot and horny by this point and begged her to please push it in. She pushed firmly and i felt the end pop through my sphincter and the resulting pain was more than i could bear. i felt it stretch me so wide that i thought i would split and my best efforts at relaxing did nothing to ease the fire inside my ass. “Please pull it back out!!!” i pleaded. Mistress must have wanted to watch me squirm a bit because she asked again if i was sure and it seemed to take forever for the beast to get out of me. When it was out my ass I fell heavily to the bed in relief.
Mistress said “Just relax and let yourself open up. Your dirty, whore ass wants this.” This was so true that it really didn’t need to be said but i did as she said and let myself relax completely, feeling the need in me build again. The zucchini touched my hole again and this time i kept it relaxed and visualized sucking it into me. As she pushed this time i felt it slide smoothly past my sphincter which didn’t protest, but instead opened up to allow the whole width to pass by. My breath caught as i felt it push deeper, deeper . “Oh GOD!!”, i cried out, “Mistress it is spreading me so wide. It’s so big in my ass.” “Yes it is”, she replied, “I am fucking your ass with this huge zucchini and you’re taking all of it. You nasty whore your slutty, greedy ass is taking all of it and letting me fuck it hard. I’m going to fuck you so hard with it and you’re going to love it. You’re going to love being fucked by the zucchini and then you’re going to love eating it, too. I’m going to cook it and feed it to you and you’re going to eat every bite and you will eat everything green that i give you from now on.” And with that she fucked me harder and faster and harder and faster, my body rocking with the motion, my head swimming with the incredible sensation of being spread so wide and the sliding of the giant dildo plunging deep inside me over and over and over. i just wanted more. Mistress commented that my dick wasn’t hard and that my greedy ass was keeping my dick from any fun then she asked if i was going to cum. i grunted that i might so she fucked me harder than ever. i was so lost in my own heaven that i barely noticed when she stopped. The sensations continued, as did the shaking of my body, for long while after she had pulled the zucchini out of me and left to put it in the bathroom. She returned to release my feet and cut the wrap from my wrists and i fell flat, blissful and breathing heavily. The bondage at this level was new and she said that it was one of the things i had highlighted in list of Fetishes i like and that she did not know about it before but that she would work on more ways to integrate that. There are many other kinks that i am interested in doing with her, many she already knows about, and i hope that i can find a way to suggest them without making her feel pressured and without seeming too much a freak.
As i lay recovering Mistress lay next to me and i spooned against her back, my dick going to its accustomed spot between her cheeks. i think that she wanted to fuck and i tried so hard to get hard but i was too spent for orgasm or for pleasing her. As she drifted to sleep she said that i was to wash my veggies carefully and put out the candles before i go to sleep. i got up and did as she instructed then went fast to sleep myself.
I woke this morning hard as usual and pushed up against Mistress, hoping that she would feel me and want to have a morning fuck. My hands rubbed gently over her back and one slid down to her sweet pussy, picking up moisture and massaging very lightly over her clit. She was obviously aroused but asked that i get a condom and so i put my wrapped dick inside her and we rolled together for a while until we both had orgasms. We lay snuggled together for a while and she told me that she was going out and that i was to feed the kids breakfast while she was gone and rattled off things that i was to do today. i think she still does not realize the power of her words, doesn’t know how just her commands can send me into head space. She will soon see that i am so willing to please her that i will do ANYTHING for her and that i am doing things that she does not ask for or expect to exceed her expectations. Having the best Mistress in the world makes me strive to be the best slave that i can possibly be.
Musings of the slave - 05/07/2010
05/07/2010
8:30 EST
After being away for two days on a trip i returned home to my loving Mistress last evening. The offspring were about so we kissed passionately in “vanilla” space and i told her how badly i had missed her. She had been with me in spirit the night i was away for at dinner i ate vegetables that i would not have had before and when i woke in the morning with a raging hard on from a very erotic dream i heard her voice in my head telling me not to touch my filthy, greedy dick so i rolled onto my stomach and blissfully but painfully waited for it to subside.
During the ride back yesterday i received a text message from Mistress Kim that told me to go online and find and order a chastity device to wear and one that would be comfortable for extended wear. i was initially very excited when Mistress said that she was taking control of my cock and would cage it for release only when she allowed. But the mention of “extended wear” gave me fright. i have no desire to be without orgasm for any length of time, maybe a day or two at most. If she wants me restrained for longer we will have to negotiate. Fortunately, i received this email message from her:
"So if your dick is in a cage how are you going to put it in between my ass cheeks when we spoon? Therein lies yet another dilemma of having this be a lifestyle thing. I feel like this is becoming more of what you need to fill your cup, but there are things...... You waking up with a raging hard on, spooning in bed with your dick parked in its spot, you running in to kiss me, fondling me when you want to including in the middle of the night, you doing nice things for me because you want to, because I will never know now what the motivation is. Also, I don't think I want to have to command you to perform certain tasks all the time or how to treat me all the time. Some of these BDSM people are sick fucks. I don't take pleasure in hurting you, I take pleasure in the fact you seem to take pleasure in it. If we continue to play will you want more and more pain and degradation???? Will it get to the point where you only want that and vanilla sex won't get you off? Sometimes I like vanilla. I started to address a bit of this in my musings from the other day, hoping you would pick up and tell me your thoughts on some of this. You never did. This doesn't mean I am not interested, after all it's about filling your cup, and right now you seem like a kid in a candy store. So if you could address some of these things I would appreciate it."
This caused me to enter a state of reflection. On the one hand i agreed totally and completely with all that my Mistress said and on the other i LOVE playing the scene with her and do not want to quit or really even slow down. So how do we balance our vanilla life which we both love so much with the BDSM scene play which i adore and she plays because she wants to please me? i guess i just answered my own question because it is selfish to ask her to play in a game that has no real benefit for her. It seemed on the surface that she was enjoying the play but if not i will need to adjust my expectations. i spoke with Mistress last evening about these things and suggested that perhaps we should be primarily vanilla and just play occasionally. She said that she likes the idea of playing during Goddess visits because she doesn’t want to have sex anyway. And i suggested that she could also give me a lot of the benefit that i want and put me in sub head space just by simple acts that don’t really require her to be in scene mode. For instance, when she forced me to wear panties to work i was in the space ALL DAY! And when i was making love to her feet with my lips i was in sub head space. So if she is willing to just bark a command every now and then and/or do something to humiliate me and/or give me a good whack across the ass i would be just about where i like to be mentally but without her having to go into full scene mode. An added benefit for her is that she could use this as a way to get extra things done around the house or to get herself some special pampering.
Last evening Mistress asked what things i would like for her to do with me and today she sent me a message asking that i blog today because she likes to get my perspective from the musings (I am not posting that message because it wasn’t truly a Mistress message). So here i am doing so. i asked if she would like for me to write some fantasy stories or to find stories and ideas that turn me on so she can know what i like but have not received her reply. If she does i may share them here if she says it is okay.
Also last evening, after the offspring went to bed the Mistress was very tired and somewhat grumpy because the Goddess still hasn’t arrived. i on the other hand was feeling rather horny and wanted to play. i pushed too hard and Mistress was irritated at me and then i made the mistake of offering to let her take out her frustrations on my ass. Let me take this opportunity to advise anyone who thinks that this would be a good idea to NEVER do something this idiotic!! Oh it seemed such a smart thing to offer myself to her as a whipping boy because she could release some pent up anger and i would receive a proper spanking at the same time. WRONG!!! She bade me to go to the bedroom and present my ass. i proceeded quickly, stripped naked and dropped to my hands and knees in supplication with my forehead to the ground and my ass high in the air. She made me wait several minutes in anticipation before she came and began to whip me beyond anything i have experienced. Now let me be clear that i LOVED it. The sting of her whip on my ass, thighs and the bottoms of my feet, the blindfold over my eyes, the soft fur side of a double-sided paddle rubbing over the whelps and up the crack of my ass immediately followed by a smack from the leather side, the ice cube shoved quickly into my ass hole, the excruciating pain of the hickies she gave me were all incredible and made me woozy and high. i just would have preferred that she had done these things in a scene where she was more playful and having fun with it. And for someone who is maybe not as experienced or able to withstand that kind of pain it could be a really bad experience.
So as we lay in bed afterward Mistress explained to me that when her Goddess is due to arrive she is visited by a Dragon with tentacles. The dragon tries to control her mind and the tentacles mess up her body and cause her great pain and discomfort. She must ride and this Dragon and try to stay in control of it lest it cause her to act in cruel and unfriendly ways. Evidently the Dragon is quite powerful this month and she has been less successful at taming him and the Goddess has been slow to arrive. i hope that she comes soon because i want my Mistress back to normal.
This morning Mistress told me that i could order a chastity device if i so desired (and of course i DO desire) so after she approved the one i found, which is a steel cage that locks around the balls, i ordered it. i am really looking forward to feeling the cold steel of the cage against my skin and seeing where this play leads.
Musings of the Mistress: Delay in our game - 05/05/2010
Musings of the Mistress
It was quite a disappointment to learn that my sweet slave has been called away on business. Our game has been interrupted and put on the back burner for two days. It is a sad truth, but sometimes real life gets in the way of pleasure. The same was true for last night (difficulty with offspring, that was draining). So when it is all said and done we will have gone three days without playing our game. Knowing this I called a game stop. This is handy if at anytime the game is not working for one or more of the players. You break the scene and release the slave. In our case I had told my slave he would not be allowed penetration or orgasm for several days, and then only at my discretion. there were other tortures that I had in mind, but they will have to wait as well. The game will resume when both players are present and in a good frame of mind.
My slave and I discussed how to keep things exciting when all out game play is not possible? We also discussed the advantages to living this as lifestyle as well. He was very convincing with a foot rub and toe sucking (why have we never done that before?) as well as rushing in to finish the dishes that the offspring neglected to complete. While I felt I was not holding up my end of the game by not spanking and taking the control, he assured me I was still very much in control. Hmmm, there may be great advantages to living this as a lifestyle after all. Since we were no longer in full game play, he missed out on some of the more humiliating escapades I had planned (I hope the veggies keep, as he has picked out two very special and large specimens). He was however allowed penetration and orgasm this morning. Another thing we discussed is how when we are in full game mode, he treats me as his Mistress the whole time. While he is not as subservient in front of the offspring, nor does he call me Mistress, he will not kiss me or fondle me freely, something which I enjoy. I like him getting excited at the mere sight of me, and revel in his deep kisses. Occasionally I like to be just taken as well. So how to work all that in and have everyone get what they need? Should it be a continuous series of short games with breaks of normalcy in between? Should it be continuous play that he is allowed to act and treat me just as he normally would when others are present or while going about our daily life and have game face only behind closed doors? This "Goddess Time' game was meant to be just that, an extended game play. It will interesting to see where this leads and what we decide and are able to work out.
I do know that even though we have called a game stop for a few days, I am still very excited to go shopping for him a collar and cock bondage today. There is also a burning need for some super high sexy foot bondage shoes for myself. Actually, it is all I can think about, that and new and creative ways to give my slave all the pain, humiliation and attention he can stand.
Mistress Kim
Vegetable Shopping - 05/04/2010
Words can't describe the range of emotions that washed over me as i read this message from my Mistress today (please note the words of caution that She has placed at the end). Needless to say i am looking forward to learning to eat lots of new foods ;-) :
"So you know and can properly anticipate Slave, your Loving Mistress did make it to the grocery store today and immediately thought of her greedy Slave (well his ass in particular) and headed right for the produce section. There she found a lovely selection of very large zucchini (what we have in the fridge is smaller) and some equally lovely squash. She looked at the produce section with a totally different view than ever before. She chose vegetables strictly based on how phallic they were and how she thought they would look hanging out of her slave's ass. She knows how greedy and always wanting more her slave's ass hole is so she chose the ones that looked like they would fill him to capacity. She is very excited to see you eat your veggies, and so hopes you develop a taste for them. The thought that her sweet slave is going to do something so distasteful (they don't have to be put up your ass for you to find this task distasteful) is curiously desirable. So much so that if you actually eat them, she may allow you to request this from time to time.
She is thinking she may have to feed them to you in private so as not to alarm the offspring should you suddenly start craving zucchini. It will also be interesting to see what size vegetable you pick.
Will your distaste for veggies win out and you choose the smaller size because what ever you pick you must consume ALL of?
OR will your nasty, greedy ass win because it would want to be filled with the largest implement possible? Decisions, decisions.
(Your Mistress feels compelled to say that if this is to be included in the BLOG, that a note to safety must be made since we don't know who may read this.
For starters all of the produce will be throughly washed prior to playtime. Since assholes have a tendency to "suck in" anything inserted after it passes the sphincter muscle, the said veggie will have a handle made out of vet wrap applied, so as not to loose it up the Slaves ass and require an emergency trip to the ER to have it extracted. Talk about humiliation, that would hold over even the neediest submissive for a while. LOL As to whether anything that has been shoved up someones ass should be eaten, well for that you have to decide for yourself. My Slave is made to take and completely void an enema before I do any in depth prodding in his anal cavity, this helps keep things clean, well cleaner...
I may consider putting a condom on the veggie as well. Basically, because if I was forced to eat anything that came out of my bum, I would appreciate having at least some barrier, but hey that's just me. If you are trying something like this and have never done it before, then read up and proceed with caution. You can do some serious damage to your sub's ass, and it would be better to start with something that was actually designed to be put up there. So enough of the safety lecture. )"
New Mistress Introduction - 05/04/2010
The Morning After - 05/04/2010
05/04/2010
11:09 EST
After a fitful, restless night of worrying over whether i would wake with an erection, the alarm finally sounded at 5:10 and i was delighted to see that i was indeed VERY hard, even if it was because i needed to pee really badly. My Mistress had told me as I went to sleep that if i woke with such a hard on that i could ask to penetrate her and bring her pleasure. I reached a hand out gingerly to touch her back and stroked gently over her bare skin. She hummed a little and reached out to touch my dick. Finding what she expected, she said that she was pleased and that i should enter her slowly and gently. I grabbed and condom and unrolled it over my shaft and quickly moved between her legs as the lay on her back. Moving forward my dick touched her sweet, hot lips and i pushed a little to find that she was wet and received me easily into her tight hole. I rocked slowly, letting her adjust to my intrusion. She commented that i felt good inside her and i thanked her by moving a little deeper. As i moved forward and back, nearly pulling out before beginning each stroke she told me to go a little faster. I took this to mean a little deeper as well and proceeded to pull my knees up under her more and make my strokes longer and faster. Her breathing got faster and knowing my loving Mistress as i do i could tell that she would cum before long. I started to pump faster into her and to accentuate each thrust with a bump to push the last bit of my dick into her. The reaction was as i expected and her hips began to react to my movements, telling me that she would indeed be cumming soon. She said that i was allowed to cum and i gleefully said “Thank you Mistress” and stroked with all my might into her, feeling the orgasm build in the base of my cock and move up its length. She said “Tell me when you cum” and i immediately said “I'm cumming now Mistress. I’m cumming right now!” and i thrust against her, driving my cock into her pussy as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through my dick. And she was cumming with me, her hips moving up to meet mine, the moans escaping her lips telling me that she was matching my orgasm.
Our bodies writhed together for a long moment as we savored the feeling and the aftermath until my Mistress said “Massage my back”. I rolled to her side and she turned her back to me so i could rub her. As i gently glided my hands over her skin she began to retell me how she intended to teach me to eat vegetables by fucking me with them and then cooking them for me to eat. She asked which i would like to try first and before i could answer she said it would be the zucchini. I was happy because it would have been my answer and i had been imagining the hard, cold, rough object spreading my asshole wide as it intruded into me, a loving hand forcing it deep inside my slutty, needy hole. She said that she hoped that i had enjoyed my orgasm because it was the last that i would have for many days and that the only pleasure i would receive from now on would be when she allowed it. I am no longer allowed to touch myself without her permission and i am not allowed to ask for permission.
Mistress Kim told me to lie closer to her and i spooned against her back while she told me that she would be obtaining a cage for my dirty dick and balls that i would wear to remind me that she is in control of them and that i should only be thinking of pleasuring her pussy and not of my needy ass or dick. Then she bade me to go to her underwear drawer which I did right away. She said “get me a pair of panties, preferably simple, black and cotton.” I found a pair that matched this description right on top and placed them on the bed next to her feet as she said “now find a pair for you to wear today. Get some that are silky.” I searched a little and found a light blue pair with some simple lace panels in the front. They were smooth nylon material with elastic around all edges. Mistress Kim said “Now try them on". I quickly slid them over my feet and pulled them up. Luckily there was enough room for me in the front so that i didn’t hang out, but i stood there in nothing but women’s panties, embarrassed by my predicament but helpless to argue. She told me to turn around so she could see all sides and once i had made a full revolution she said that i was to put them on after my shower and wear them all day at work. I couldn’t help but have a little excitement because they really did feel good against my skin. And i have had some minor fantasies of being forced to dress as a woman before although i have never told my Mistress before and she will learn this about her slave by reading this Blog.
I left the bathroom door opened for my Mistress to perform spot inspections of whether i was touching myself inappropriately while showering and i nearly jumped out of my skin when the shower curtain opened suddenly and she popped her head in to see. Luckily i was not touching myself so i received no punishment. Once i was finished getting ready and about to leave the youngest offspring was up so my time to refer to my Mistress with her honorific was over but she motioned with her cup that i was to get her more coffee which i did quickly and without any comment.
Off to work i went in my new panties and with instruction that i was to publish all of the activities in my Blog. I have neglected my work all morning and done nothing other than type my stories. My Mistress has sent me messages and i have responded like this:
Mistress: How is my nasty, dirty sex slave this morning?
me: i am extremely horny Mistress and my greedy dick is tortured by the feel of your silky panties.
Mistress: You are not allowed to enjoy that sensation. I care not how horny your greedy dick is. You are wearing them as a reminder that you are to think of nothing but my pussy and how you plan to please it. Until the Goddess actually arrives pleasing my pussy is all you are allowed to do, but you are no longer allowed to use your greedy horny dick.
me: Yes Mistress Kim. I will try to stop thinking like a whore and focus only on your sweet, beautiful pussy and on ways to please it and to please you. I am writing in my blog to describe the events that have transpired and i thank you for reminding me of my lowly place. If it pleases you i can take a picture of my dirty dick in your panties and post it with the entry for this morning so that everyone can see that you have made it yours and that only you can say what it can do.
Mistress: Save you have gone way too far. How dare you let your vain dickconvince you to ask your Mistress to take pictures of it! As I gain control over you slave, I expect you to gain control over your vain, selfish, greedy cock. Now I can’t even go get your proper cock bondage as your youngest offspring has messed up my day. She called to be picked up before the oldest was even dropped. This has done nothing to add to my good humor, so you better keep your dick in line. Don’t even think about asking if you can go get your own. Your greedy dick will just have to wait.
me: Yes Mistress. Please forgive my insolence. I hope that you can have an opportunity to relax and feel like the true Goddess that you are. I will try with all my being to give you that feeling at every opportunity today and tonight. I want only to worship you.
And i really do want only to worship my Mistress. I thought that we would play this game for a few days through the Goddess’ visit but i am so enrapt in this head space that i don’t want to go back to “normal” again. I love the feeling that i get when she takes control and makes me do embarrassing things. I love the sting of her words when she admonishes me and the sting of her whip when she punishes me. I crave the anticipation that i feel all day wondering what mysterious and creative things she will have in store for me. And i love that she has made me wear panties today. I went to the semi-public restroom at work and had unzipped my pants before i recalled that the guy next to me could see the blue fabric of my panties as i fished out my cock. The thought that he may have seen me and known that i was wearing women’s panties brought a sweet sting of shame that was so intense that i got an erection. And i have gone back to that same restroom since almost hoping to be caught. I have no attraction to men but the thought that i may be seen as girlie for wearing panties is an embarrassment that would be beyond anything i think i have ever experienced before. And as my Mistress noted last evening, I want the embarrassment, the pain AND the attention!
First Night Of My New Life - 05/04/2010
05/04/2010
7:23 EST
Oh my god, what an amazing night it was last night. As my Mistress suggested, I stopped on the way home and bought some sweet smelling bubble bath at her favorite store. They had way too many choices and I struggled with the decision because I was sorely afraid of disappointing her but finally settled on one that reminded me of a lotion that I had noticed her using in the past. I hurried to get home because I was now running late. The anticipation of what would occur and my nervousness over the pressure to please her had built to a head and I was dying to get started with our first night of power play.
Before the offspring were conceived we’d played some BDSM and had progressed to the point where I was ready to live it as a lifestyle. My submissive side had grown to the point that I was always eager to please my Mistress (at the time I referred to her as Countess) and craved her attentions. But upon conception of our first the games ceased completely (understandably) and only recently, since they have grown to be more self sufficient, have we started playing a little again. Over the past few weeks our minds have become opened to a lot of possibilities for pleasure and our hedonistic sides have resurfaced with a vengeance. Some spankings and other pain play between us and a few dominating moments added spice to our already steaming hot sex life but the letter yesterday from my Mistress telling me that I am now in her service and instructing me how I am to proceed over the next few days sent me instantly into a head space that I remembered fondly.
Walking into the house with my brain swimming I returned my Mistresses sweet smile and kissed her. The offspring were about so we talked for a bit “normally” but when it was only us in the room we talked about what was transpiring between us. She told me that she had been researching other Doms and had discovered that she is more creative than most (which does not surprise me in the least) and that she will be torturing me in many new and interesting ways. She also described 3 things that submissives seek in their play: Attention, Humiliation and Pain. I laughed a little as I told her that all 3 describe me and she said very seriously that yes, they do and that she will use all of them to her benefit.
We ate dinner as a normal family and spent some time all together before sending the offspring to bed. They’d been gone only a short while when my Mistress and I started to talk of the old days. She commented on how we had quit playing upon the first conception and that it had been my fault. I took her comment lightly and laughed that it was because she was very fertile and that is the point at which everything changed for she had been deadly serious and was NOT amused by my impertinent comment. I was ordered to my knees at her chair and offered one of her feet. Even though we had never played foot games before I am a smart slave and did not need to be told that I what was expected of me. I began kissing her foot and placing my lips over each of her toes and sucking lightly. Her feet had not yet been cleaned so I felt belittled to have the soil from her day in my mouth but I took to my task with vigor, careful to treat her with respect. When she’d had enough of this, My Mistress instructed me to go to the bedroom, close the door and strip. When she came in I was naked and standing at attention awaiting her. She told me to face the bathroom door and I heard her go to her nightstand to find something. She returned to put wrist restraints with door attachments in the door and fasten them around my wrists, securing me in place. As she fastened the velcro she told me that she would be buying a collar for me to wear when we go out and that I would be wearing it on Saturday night when we go to our favorite new bar. She said that she would pick people out and send me to tell them that my Mistress had told me to kiss them and to point her out so they could see that this was true. Her plan is to make me approach women that she chooses and perhaps others including she-males if she so fancies. Next a step stool was placed in front on of me and I was told to kneel. A sharp slap across each of my exposed ass cheeks brought full awareness of my predicament and I winced involuntarily from the sting. Mistress Kim commented on how greedy my dirty, whore ass was and I realized that I was sticking it out in hopes of feeling more slaps. She did not disappoint and I felt the sting of her crop like a bee was stinging me. Then she said that my dick was greedy too and put a leather strap on me that held tightly around the base of my dick and wrapped around my balls. It pulled my balls up over my dick in a most unusual way and she said that I would probably regret if I got a hard on while wearing this.
The narrow ledge of the stool was quite painful on my knees but I endured without complaint. A blindfold was placed over my eyes and I began to lose my place in both space and time as I began to adjust my other senses. I was ordered to rise and the stool was removed so I dropped to my knees, straining the cuffs as I was stretched by the gravity pulling me to my full length. Mistress Kim ordered me to not let the bindings come loose so I stretched all that I could to keep the tension from breaking the Velcro bond. My ass became a mass of fiery heat when blow after blow from various implements smacked my bare skin and my ass moved back to meet each one, savoring the pain and begging for more. “Stand up”, she said and I complied. More pain followed and just when I didn’t think I could endure more the torment ended, leaving me hanging winded by my wrists.
The cuffs were released and I was ordered to draw a VERY hot bath for my Mistress. I went into the bathroom and cleaned the tub which I then began to fill with water as hot as I thought any human could stand. When I announced that it was ready, she went to check and although she approved of the scent of the bubble bath I had selected, she was displeased with me for not filling the tub full enough. She added more water, made me undress her and lowered herself into the sudsy water. I was very excited to be in the presence of her beautiful, naked body and asked if I could touch her. She told me that I was to shave her legs so I retrieved the shaving lotion and began to rub it into lather over her soft skin. I have never shaved a woman’s legs before but did my best to perform my duty removing the hair without cutting her precious skin. Her praise for doing well made me very happy and I was told that I was allowed to shave her pussy, too. I delighted in rubbing the lotion over her special area and paid very close attention to this task so I did not cause any irritation and did not cut her. Mistress then presented her ass for me and I shaved with glee. I slid the razor over between her cheeks and was removing the slight stubble but when I moved it over her left cheek she became quite irate because I was not supposed to shave there. Admonished, I stopped and rocked back on my heels, feeling like a scolded dog that had peed on the floor. She Rose from the tub and had me dry her off. I was told to drain the tub while she applied lotion to her body and went to lie on the bed. When I was finished I came to her and asked if I could rub her feet. She directed me to pick a lotion and I returned with one that I thought she would like. I had chosen her favorite so I was rewarded by being allowed to rub both of her feet. I relished this task and used both hands to rub it all over her feet while I kissed and sucked on them.
Mistress was evidently pleased with the foot rub and asked if I would like to lick her pussy. I begged her to allow me this honor and she granted me the chance to pleasure her. I slid up between her legs and use my tongue to lightly touch her clit. She wanted only my tongue to touch her so I was made to stick it out so far that it was a little uncomfortable and flicked it over her clit. “Put a finger inside and stroke slowly” she said. My index finger slid inside her sweet, tight lips and I stroked up under her G spot, hoping to make her cum. “You want to cum in your mouth, don’t you?” she asked. Over my extended tongue I murmured “Yes Mistress. Please cum in my mouth. I want to taste your cum”.
As I made love to her with my tongue and finger, my loving Mistress began telling me how dirty and slutty and greedy my ass is and how she knows that it wants to be penetrated by her. She named items that she would like to stick in my ass like a hair brush with stiff bristles that would scratch me. She spent a good bit of time talking about pushing the handle of a feather duster into my whoring asshole and making me crawl around with the feathers sticking out and that she would make me dust the furniture this way. My ass squirmed and my cock twitched as I imagined her forcing me to endure this and I licked faster at her clit, my finger starting to fuck her pussy faster. “Ooo, you like that, don’t you?” she said. Again I muttered “Yes Mistress” around my aching, extended tongue as it lapped desperately at her clit.
Mistress Kim said “Your greedy ass wants all kinds of things stuck in it, doesn’t it? What kind of things do you want me to fuck your dirty ass with?” I was only able to groan in delight at her words and she continued, telling me that she would stick a zucchini in my ass and maybe a big carrot. I am not a fan of vegetables and will only eat a few different ones so my Mistress decided that this is an opportunity to train me to eat more foods. “I am going to fuck your ass with a big zucchini and then I am going to wash it off and cook it and make you eat it. Yes, you will eat a vegetable and you will love it because it has been in your ass, fucking you and making you cum. You will love it and will always love to eat them because you will think about how good it felt to have that zucchini in your slutty, dirty ass and you will want more. And I will stick a big carrot up your ass and rub it all inside you and then I will wash it off and cook it and you will eat it, too. You will delight in eating it and no one else will know that you had it in your ass, that it fucked you and made you cum. Do you want to feel a big zucchini in your ass, your dirty, filthy, greedy ass? ” If my tongue had not been extended I would have shouted “YES MISTRESS, PLEASE FUCK MY ASS WITH VEGETABLES. I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME WITH THEM AND MAKE ME EAT THEM. I WILL LOVE EATING THEM” but instead it came out as a mumbled mess of words that just vibrated my tongue against her clit. I fucked her harder with my finger and she asked “Is that how you want me to fuck that whore ass with my zucchini? It’s your ass you’re thinking about instead of my pussy isn’t it? Your dirty, nasty slutty ass is all that can think for you and you are fucking me with your finger but thinking about your ass being fucked, aren’t you?” I tried to deny it but my ass was waving in the air as it squirmed and swayed, begging for attention that it would not receive. Mistress said to keep licking and to lick faster but that she was not going to cum. I would have to work harder and harder for her to share her sweet orgasm with me.
After my tongue was past being numb and my finger nearly locked with cramps, Mistress Kim ordered me to stop and to stand. Then she told me to remove the leather strap and lie on the bed. My body was in a state of total confusion when she told me that I had been a good slave and serviced her well and that I was allowed to penetrate her if I could get an erection. I started to touch myself but she said that I was not allowed any touching, I must get hard by telling myself to get hard. Such sweet torture. I laid for several minutes trying to focus and think only about sliding in and out of her hot, tight pussy while she tormented me by telling me that if I did not get it up I would have to go without for 4 days and telling me that it was my greedy ass that was keeping me from fucking, that my ass wanted to get fucked so badly that it was keeping my dick from getting pleasure. I couldn’t argue because I knew that she was right, my ass wanted to feel penetration, to feel her spreading it open, the friction of whatever object she could imagine fucking me deep and hard and my brain was spinning from trying so hard to get hard.
My window of opportunity finally expired and my Mistress declared that I had not performed in a timely manner. She rolled me to my side facing away from her and told me to go to sleep because I would get no pleasure tonight. As I lay trying to come to terms with all that had happened and contain the incredible turmoil in my mind she leaned close and said “If you wake with a really hard dick in the morning you may ask to penetrate me.” I said “Thank you, Mistress Kim,” then closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.
A complete failure - 05/03/2010
05/03/2010
16:21 EST
I am a total failure and have displeased my gracious and loving Mistress. She gave me explicit instructions which I failed to follow correctly and she is offering me a great opportunity to serve her but I have been thinking only of my own selfish needs. Her message below which I just received spells it out and I can only hope that I am able to return to her good graces very quickly. It causes me great discomfort to think that my Mistress is not receiving the pleasure that she so deserves.
"While your BLOG is a start, you did not follow instructions. You did not copy and paste the text messages as you were instructed to do. Your interpretation of what your Mistress said is unacceptable. All entries should include a date. There should be a separate color and or font for your Mistress, yourself and any correspondences from either party should be labeled as such. If your Mistress can not add to it, or respond in any way and if there is no spell check then you must start over. Additionally, it is not very pleasing to the eye. I require you to fix all these things. While you spoke just a bit about how you felt about the whole thing, I really expected you to put a bit more thought into how you were feeling and making this into a story someone would actually want to read. This is one of those things, that you are really going it get out of it what you put in.
As your Mistress I see you are still thinking only of how you are going to be punished. I see nothing of how you plan worship your Goddess. You are still very greedy in your needs, and I see you are a slave that will need extensive training to get over thinking about his dick, his ass, and how he is going to be punished. Your focus needs to change, you are here strictly to serve your Mistress and your needs should NEVER come into consideration at all. Your loving Mistress knows what you need and will give it to when you are worthy, but not before. It is necessary to prove yourself a good slave, before she will be gracious enough to grant you your desires.
Lastly, you are not a servant, they deserve some respect. At this point you are a dirty, greedy, undisciplined, sex slave that does not know how to properly worship his Mistress. You have a lot of work and groveling ahead of you before you gain the title servant.
A good slave would stop on his way home and pick out a very nice smelling bubble bath and think with intent on how he is going to draw a very hot bath for his Mistress, how he only wants her to be comfortable and pampered and adored. How grateful and privileged he will feel about being allowed to touch and stroke and bathe her. How if he worships her properly that he may gain entry and be allowed to stroke her inside as well. How desperately he is going to want this memory to carry him through the days of unexpected punishment and humiliation that his most clever and creative Mistress has planned for him."
The text messages that I failed to post earlier are below as follows
Mistress: Where are you?
me: I am just returning from lunch Mistress. After reading your message I immediately went to find a blog host before responding so that I would not disappoint you. I will send you an email expressing my deep gratitude for the opportunity to serve you and with the details of where to find my journal.
Mistress: While I am disappointed in your delayed response time, your punishment will not be too severe....this time. From now on there will be an immediate response to all my letters. Consider them your leash.
me: Yes Mistress. I sincerely regret any delay.
Mistress: You don't yet, but will sometime in the future.
me: Thank you Mistress
So henceforth I will think only of pleasing my Mistress and will spend all of my energy on pleasing her in every way possible and if a morsel of pleasure should pass to me I will acceppt it with as much humility and appreciation as I can muster. I now relinquish myself to total servitude and place myself in her total control. I am dizzy drunk in my mind at the heady emotions I have from being given the chance to offer myself and my service to one so wise and loving and strong as my Mistress.I am sending this message to her in hope that she will grant me forgiveness:
"Dearest Mistress,
Please accept my most strident apology for being an ungrateful, nasty slave who does not deserve to lick the dust from the soles of your shoes. I have made changes to the Blog and hope that you find it pleasing. You are able to post comments as you like and you are able to login with user name #####@#######.com and password ####### which will allow you total control of all of the blog: settings, content, visibility, etc.
I will no longer think of my greedy dick or ass. They are yours to assign a fate as you see fit or to ignore completely as you see fit. I will think only of how I can please and service my Mistress and hope that she finds favor in me so that I can truly be her servant and not merely her dirty, greedy undisciplined sex slave. If you would be so kind as to train me to do your bidding and mold me to your will I would be forever grateful and will spend all of my days and nights attempting to repay your kindness."